A Boy, A Doll, and the End of the World
by Firethenice
Summary: What if Shinji would have woken up next to Rei on the beach after Third Impact? R&R! CH11 IS UP! What will happen when Rei awakes? What will Kaworu do now that he is no longer needed? What decision will Shinji make for the fate of man? The end is nea
1. Beachfront Property

This is a remake of a story I wrote when I was much younger, this novel depicts what may have happened if Shinji would have woke up next to Rei instead of Asuka on the beach after Third Impact. I, as always, do not own any of the material in this story, I do not own the characters, objects, or fictitious events, they are all property of Gainax. I hope you enjoy this prologue chapter, and I hope for a multitude of good and bad reviews. Thank you.

**A Boy, a Doll, and the End of the World**

"Asuka, oh God, Asuka. Shinji, Asuka is, she's...

"We have begun Third Impact"

"Kawou? Is that you?"

"I wish everyone would just die!"

"Then tell me, what is your heart for?"

"Please, someone help me...please." "...no."

Prologue Chapter

Assessment of the Current Situation

All I see is blood. The blood Shinji saw right before everything went dark, it's the same blood he sees now. It covered him completely, he was practically drowning in it. But this was different, his mind echoed, these were the first thoughts he had since he regained consciousness. The blood was thinner, and every time his heart beat, a plethora of veins appeared for a split second then disappeared alongside a thunderous headache. I must be dead. Shinji thought, his mind started to become less scattered. For a moment, he was happy, his death made it simple for him to escape, he didn't have to face those he hurt or failed, but as his senses slowly came back to him a welling inside his stomach grew, for he knew he was not dead. This realization came when his right hand began itch because of the small grains of sand that found their way in between his fingers.

"Uggnnn…" He heard a feminine voice groan beside him, and with that came the immediate sound of waves crashing against the shore. Shinji's eyes began to water, and he held them closed with every bit of strength he had. The waves were somewhat soothing, and after a few minutes he forgot all the horrors that he had just been put through, and because of his mental exhaustion was on the brink of falling asleep when he heard his name being called from a whisper-like voice.

"Ikari?"

Shinji's head rolled to the side, and his eyes bulged open, ignoring the blinding sun he held them as wide as he could.

There she sat, one of the three most important, but practically only women, in his life. Rei Ayanami, her blue hair almost floating off her forehead, the back, which, because of the water, became a darker shade of blue and was covered in sand. Her unblinking raven eyes stared straight up at the sky, and her albino skin practically reflected all sunlight off her face. She was still wearing her plug suit, a large bandage wrapped around the top of her arm, below it the bandage, the plug suit looked as it had been torn off, and only the skin below her elbow showed through. Breathing slowly, she was patiently awaiting his response, her face, as per usual, showed no sign of emotion.

From the moment Rei had opened her eyes she began to analyze the situation she was in. Quickly she located pilot Ikari, he was breathing fine, the beach where the two were was completely deserted. The cloudless night sky was acceptable because of artificial lights coming from the remains of Tokyo 3's cityscape. Rei positioned herself upright, "I must go to Ikari.", those words echoed in her mind from only a few hours ago. She felt exhausted, though physically not more then five hours had passed since she had merged with Adam, it felt as though a millennium had passed. Rei thought for a moment, she had defied Gendo, her pseudo father, her creator, and her commanding officer, if she was not the link between him and his wife, she would be killed without thought. Wait, Dr. Aikagi…She had destroyed all of her replicas, there would be no more husks, no more spare body parts, and no more Rei Ayanami, she would be free. This caused something inside of her to crack, to change, and because of this, she had to know oneo thing.

"Yes Ayanami?" Shinji replied meekly.

Rei held this silence for an excruciating long time, and right before Shinji was about to repeat himself, she blinked for the very first time, and when her eyes reopened she was staring right into his.

"What number am I?"

At first Shinji didn't know how to reply, after seeing a massive God-Rei stand in front of his Unit-01, he almost forgot that she was a clone. Yet even with remembering this, Shinji still didn't know what to say, honestly he didn't even know why she was here. Closing his eyes he tried to remember what happened last…he was being pulled through a world that felt like a broken record player, jumping to this and that, not really staying in one place for more than a mere split second. For an instant, near the beginning and the end, he felt almost as if he were God, and all existence bowed before him, and in the beginning he was their destroyer, but in the end, their creator. Still believing he had done the right thing in the beginning, slaughtering everyone and casting them each into their own person Heaven, his mind still believed that he should not have to power to control them, and in the end, gave every living creature the power to choose, whether to stay in their own little worlds, or return their birthplace, Earth, a world of pain and suffering. Every creature then made their own decision…except for one. Rei Ayanami, the girl with only a piece of a soul, was not given a home. Without even truly thinking it out, Shinji subconsciously made the decision for Rei to be remade whole. This did nothing but made Shinji feel worse, he had brought her back to a world full of pain, misery, and hate…As Shinji's tears began to well back up he felt Rei sit up beside him, ignoring the sand that still clung to her arms and back. Shinji knew he had to answer her, it was the least he could do.

"You're not a number anymore Ayanami. You…are you."

Shinji felt weird saying this, and was at first worried that she might not understand him, but before he could even try and restate it, Rei practically summed up everything quickly.

"Then I am no longer just a tool of Gendo. I am…whole?"  
"Ye…yes." Shinji stuttered, still worried that he had ruined Rei. But wasn't this better than oblivion. No, Shinji looked at her and knew, once again, he had hurt those around him.

Rei turned and looked out over the water, the sky and the water matched her eyes, stone crosses littered the water both sides of her peripheral vision. For a moment she almost jumped when she took in all of what sat in front of her, a giant replica of her own head, it was slowly cracking and deteriorating. And inside Rei felt different, no longer able to control her emotions, they seemed to nearly rip through her mind. Feelings of remorse for her own self that sat sinking in the ocean, feelings of happiness to be whole, and feelings of fear for the world she has been put into, but most of all, a very unfamiliar feeling that she has had ever since Shinji saved her life after they fought off one of the Angels. She felt the warm sun on her skin, the cool smell of salt water, and felt the sands shift as Shinji moved uncomfortably beside her. Analyzing the situation, she felt as though her pros far outweighed the cons of her previous lives, she no longer needed to wish for death, for she was no one's doll anymore.

"This is acceptable."

Shinji felt a slight feeling of relief, Rei seemed somewhat happy with her present situation, well as happy as Rei Ayanami gets, and so he sat up beside her. And for a moment the two of them just stared out at the ocean, listening to the waves crash against the beach. Shinji, thinking about the mess he'd made with the world in his usual self-loathing manner, and Rei, trying to understand everything she'd been given, but more importantly why were they the only two remaining.

"Ikari, where is everyone else?"  
Rei didn't entirely care, being alone had been perfectly acceptable, but this lengthened silence between her and Shinji gave her a new odd feeling that she didn't entirely enjoy.

Shinji looked around, up and down the beach, Rei was right, there was no one else here. No Asuka, no Misato, no Gendo…no one. They were alone. Had everyone else decided to stay in their own personal Heavens, or had he somehow failed them and…

"Do not worry, you have done no wrong Shinji Ikari…this is the world you wished for, the one you created. Everyone is happy, and it's all thanks to you. Congratulations."

A familiar male voice spoke to him from inside his head. Shinji jumped, and looked around quickly searching for the voice.

"That voice…" Shinji muttered, it was just like Ka…

"Are you alright?" Rei asked, with a hint of concern on her face. This new feeling of…feeling was confusing to Rei, and instead of thinking every action over thoroughly she felt unable to control her self on certain topics.

"Um…y..yeah Ayanami, I…I don't know where everyone else is…I think they're all…"

Shinji just then caught a glimpse of where humanity stood, the circle of red that surrounded the planet. Each red crystal orb was a human, living all in their own new world.

"…Up there."

Rei looked up and saw what Shinji was speaking of, though she did not quite understand, everything felt familiar, though her own last memory was that of disappearing into Adam, she felt as though she had been a part of all this. Whatever was going on, the feeling of discomfort again overtook her, and she wanted to be anywhere but on this beach.

"May we leave this place?"

"Of…of course…is…are you alright?"

Shinji asked, worrisome.

"Yes, I am fine. But I detest this place."

Detest…Rei felt odd saying this, she had never disliked anything more than a simple annoyance, Rei would not even classify the Second Child as someone she hated, but for whatever reason she was being controlled by her emotions for, they were practically screaming a feeling of hate toward the red water, the crimson sky, and her almost completely collapsed former self.

"Why?" Shinji asked dumbly, interrupting Rei's thoughts.

"Because, it reminds me of your father."


	2. Never Alone

Chapter 2

Never Alone.

It was eerie. One of the largest remaining cities in the entire world…was empty. There were mass amounts of damp clothes scattered here and there, and because of the perpetual power system the city still 'breathed' with electricity, heat, water, as had before. Still, alarms from the multitude of explosions near NERV headquarters echoed off the empty streets, and the smell of smoke burned Shinji's nostrils. The two had been walking for about fifteen minutes, Shinji had a strange feeling inside when they came across a electronics store that had twenty TVs in the window, all playing a prerecorded news broadcast claiming that a "Large Winged Angel" was rising up out of NERV and destroying the city piece by piece. What truly frightened Shinji most was not the fact that it the footage was actually of him in Unit-01 coming out of the ground, but instead by the fact that the video was claiming to be live. With the events truly only happening about 15 minutes ago by Earth's standards, this event oddly made sense.

Rei felt equally awkward, she was practically drowning in her new emotions which annoyed her for they seemed to change every minute: First she wanted to get something to eat, then she just happy to think about being whole, then she was curious and wanted to ask Shinji about what had happened, then she was annoyed and wanted to take off her bandage because it was crippling her movement, then she saddened by the fact that she now held no purpose, then she was nervous to tell Shinji that she had merged with Adam just to protect him. Everything running through her mind was new, and she somewhat missed the past when she had a much better grasp on her thoughts and mind, it now felt as though she was being dragged behind by it.

The silence between the two was broken rather comically, Rei Ayanami, for the very first time in her short life let out a small 'eep' and jumped back when her own stomach growled at her hungrily. Shinji looked at her as if she was someone else and stifled a laugh, something this comical never happened to a girl like her.

Rei on the other hand was freaking out! This was completely new to her, she had no idea what was happening. She of course had been hungry before, but had always fed herself at the appropriate time, and now with her plethora of new emotions, she was at a complete loss.

"What was that?" She asked, a extremely well hidden sense of fear came from behind her whisper.

Shinji looked at Rei, at first he thought she was kidding, but then realizing who he was talking to he realized she simply couldn't be.

"Your stomach growled because you're hungry. Haven't you have experienced that before Ayanami?"

"…No. I believe I would like…that we should eat soon."

Picking up the pace, she began walking toward the food district. Shinji jogged to catch up, how could Rei turn something so simple into a matter of life or death? She was acting like an Eva, when one system went down her body turned all it's focus on restoring that missing piece. Shinji went back to his thoughts, a place where he was safe, talking to Rei or even really thinking about her was something almost unheard of, he honestly felt more at home loathing himself. Something he had spent nearly 15 years perfecting this and he was quite proud of it, but after the voice had told him everyone was happy in their own Heaven's, and he had restored Rei to what he thought she _should_ have been, and her being happy about it, what could Shinji despise about himself? As odd as it sounds, he spent the next 15 minutes trying to figure that very question out, until he was drug out of his silence by Rei's voice.

"Are you coming?" She asked.

Shinji had stopped, by habit, at a 'Don't Walk' sign, and was patiently waiting for it to change. He nodded absent mindedly and jogged to catch up.

When they arrived at the food district, at first Rei was at a loss, the most work she had ever put into a meal was either picking it up from the NERV cafeteria, or throwing a heat up tray into her microwave, luckily Shinji was there, and without a second thought walked straight behind the food counter and moved some of the remnants of it's past employees away, and began preparing a meal. Rei at first sat on the bar stool in front of the bar, waiting for her food, but soon she became bored and looked around the store.

"Yo…you don't like meat, right?" Shinji asked, he had placed a chef hat on his head which made Rei feel warm inside, comfortable. But plainly she replied,

"That is correct." Then stood and began to look around.

Shinji felt sheepish, he knew it was weird for it to be just him and Rei, but didn't they have fun the past few weeks before the incident? They had begun hanging out more outside of work, and Shinji finally was able to carry on a full five minute conversation with the young albino girl, though the most used words in his vocabulary were "ums" and "uhs". He had even walked her home a few nights, though she had told him a multitude of times that she did not need an escort. But now it was different, Rei was different, she was more alert, more aware of everything, she was less of a brick wall that Shinji could just spit words at and more like a actual human being. Thus, Shinji's nervousness overtook him once again. He wanted to say something, to not feel like an idiot around her, and his eyes darted back and forth quickly to find something to say.

"H…hey Ayanami!"

She stopped walking and turned her head slightly, giving him a side profile of her face, it pierced through him like a knife.

"U..Uh…um…ya..yaknow…um…ugh…" Shinji couldn't think of anything to say until Rei turned the rest of the way around and put one hand around her elbow while the other one hang gently. Her torn plug suit! That was it!

"He...hey aren't you uncomfortable in that thing? I-I mean your plug suit."

"I have worn it before, I have grown used to the way it feels." She replied, and paused for a moment, waiting to see if he was done talking. But something was plaguing her, the plug suit was different, it was uncomfortable, sticky, and smelled like blood, also her bandage was bothering her again and for a moment she wondered where she got it.

"Oh…ok…I was just going to say, there's some clothing stores over across the street, if…if you wanted to wear something else." Shinji spoke, then, feeling like an idiot again, went back to his cooking. If there was something he was good at besides self loathing, it was cooking, and to make up for his verbal sins he was going to cook Rei an excellent dinner.

Rei watched Shinji for a moment, working feverishly on their meal, she then turned and began to walk across the street, to the nearest clothing store.

As the First Child entered the mall area she glanced around for a female clothing store, passing the music, candy, and shoe stores she felt very out of place. She was not used to shopping, if she had ever needed anything, she would simply ask for it, and it would be hers. She never truly desired, or _wanted_ anything, she only picked out what she truly needed, and so, had no real reason to shop. The mall was also somewhat nerve racking by the way everything was moving, glowing, and speaking just like it would have if all it's inhabitants had not just vanished less than hour ago. As she walked passed the plethora of annoying and flashy advertisements, she finally reached a location where she could purchase replacement attire.   
Shinji had not really noticed the disappearance of Rei and thought to himself more about the young girl. Ever since Dr. Akagi had shown Shinji all the 'husks' of Rei he had been afraid of her, and since distanced himself as far from her as possible, he was honestly scared of her. Not really her as in Rei III but moreso her eyes, when he had entered the chamber where her 'sisters' rested, they had all seemed to stare at him in particular and smile, as if his very presence gave them something to live for. Even in their deaths, which were quick, they continued to stare at him until they dissolved into nothing. Suddenly Shinji noticed his hand was shaking in fear, and he quickly decided to start thinking about something more pleasant, like what Misato's last words were…

This is acceptable. Rei thought to herself as she changed in the middle of the store, knowing quite well there was no one left to see her in the nude, she had no reason to change inside one of the dressing rooms. The blue haired girl had picked a dress as similar to her school outfit as possible, it pushed out the memories that her plug suit gave her, and replaced them with a much more pleasant feeling. As she finished changing she looked back toward what she had really desired, or should I say, what her newfound emotions desired, a pair of comfortable loose jeans, and a regular t-shirt. Though her emotions had practically screamed at her to buy them, her mind knew that they would not help her remember her passed memories, and thus, found them useless. As she walked toward the exit of the mall, one of the advertisements caught her eye.

When Shinji finally looked back up after he had finished making dinner he was surprised at the absence of his 'friend'. He set the two plates down at the nearest table and began to grow increasingly worried. He walked up and around the entire restaurant, then he ran outside and looked up and down the lit up broadway, he heart raced. What had happened? Had she become bored and left him, had she really never been? With everything that had been going on the past few hours Shinji didn't think he could handle this, he started to scream, terror and fear of actually being alone gripped him and his eyes began to water.

"Ayanami! Ayanami where are you! Aya-"

"Is something wrong?"

Shinji froze, he spun around and there Rei stood, in a completely new outfit, holding a multitude of bags in her hand, her face questioning, wasn't it he who had suggested going across the street to look for clothes?

"Oh….um…al…alright…..I just…I just wanted you to know that dinner was ready…." Shinji stammered, he couldn't help but smile at her.

"Understood." Rei replied and turned and walked back toward the diner.

Shinji looked down at his feet and shuffled them slightly. Maybe he had been foolish, how could he have forgotten that it was he who told her to go shopping. He immediately remembered the time he was in a grocery store with his mother when he was very young, turning to look at a flashy toy he quickly lost sight of his mother and became practically paralyzed in fear. Bawling wildly she came running back within seconds, holding him close. Though he had just lost sight of her for a few moments, the negative thoughts that he may never see her again ripped through his body faster than anything he'd ever felt before. And nothing made him happier than her return…maybe he had been wrong before…maybe he truly didn't want to be alone.

Though Shinji could tell she was starving, Rei took such small bites, and seemed to actually be counting how many times she chewed them each time before swallowing, some of her actions were so inhuman sometimes, and just so systematic. Shinji on the other hand was not quite as hungry, the taste of sea water and blood still in his throat, and the memories of the past 24 hours stole the hunger pangs from him. Rei looked up at him, she could tell he was lost in thought, and was once again feeling uncomfortable, so she delicately put down her chopsticks and reached inside her bag, pulling out the closest thing she found to Shinji's usual attire. A bit backwards, the button up shirt she had found was black, the undershirt white, and the only pants she could find where khaki's.

"These are for you. The clothes you're wearing now are wet from the beach, you must feel…uncomfortable."

Shinji took the clothes and looked them over, he couldn't believe Rei had done something like this, and upon further inspection of Rei herself, he couldn't believe how the clothes she wore now were as similar as the ones she used to wear to class.

"Why did you pick those clothes Ayanami?"  
"I do not understand your question."  
"I mean…why…why did you pick clothes that look like everything you used to wear…when you could have gotten anything? I…I don't understand."

Rei looked at him in the eyes, still somewhat confused, and for a moment almost blew this question off, but his eyes stayed glued to hers, and she felt compelled to respond.

"These are my non-NERV clothes, they are proper dress for civilians such as ourselves."

Shinji smiled at this answer, something he had expected down to the T. But he was still curious on how she felt about this new existence-voided world.

"What…what are we going to do Ayanami?"

"Eat." She replied.

"I don't mean now, I mean in general…what are we going to do since we're the last two people on Earth. We could do anything, go anywhere…what…what do we do?"

"I…I do not know."

"Isn't there anything you've ever wanted to do more than anything."

"Piloting EVA has been my only purpose."

"You've never dreamed of doing anything else…Rei?"

"Yes, and I did do it…I saved your life."

Shinji looked upon her with awe, but she simply returned to her meal.

The rest of the dinner was eaten in silence, Rei stared intently at her meal and Shinji stared intently at Rei. What had she meant by that: saved his life? He had no idea it was she who had merged with Adam and rose up to meet Shinji in Eva-01. He thought it was just his mind that was bending when the giant god-Rei came and spoke with him. Shinji was so curious to ask her what she had meant, but he was too nervous to do so, and so, he finished his noodles. Afterwards the two rose, Rei with her bags and once again, in silence began their trek home, The Third Child walked passed a crashed moving truck, it said DHL on the side, just like the moving van that had brought Asuka into his home, Shinij's eyes began to water he heard.

"What are you doing?" Rei asked, from the middle of the street.

"What? Oh…right…" As he began he noticed Rei was no longer walking toward Misato's apartment, in fact, she was headed in the complete opposite direction.

"Ayanami…wh-where are you going?"

"Home."

Shinji was at first going to let her go, and for a few second he watched her as she walked away, Macy's bags in hand, but then remembered something.

"Ayanami!" He yelled to her.

"What is it Ikari?" She asked. Having Rei say his name, even if it was his last name, struck a cord with him, and for a few moments couldn't speak. Rei on the other hand was waiting almost hopefully for a response that brought them to stay together.

"All of the 13th district, including where your apartment is…was destroyed"

This news did not trouble Rei one bit, she would simply relocate into her 'other' home, the place where she would rest and shower after syncing with the dummy plug. Knowing she had nothing of interest in her old apartment, NERV would make a much more suitable living environment, there was no longer a need to be observed 'normally' as the Commander put it by living in the apartments instead of at NERV, and this would give her an excellent opportunity to do research on herself to find out exactly what the Third Child had done to her. So, with these thoughts in mind, which took her no more than a few seconds to calculate out, she turned in a different direction and began to walk.

Was she not listening, Shinji thought to himself. He had just told her that her home had been destroyed, and in his own little way, kind of offered her a place to stay and she ignored him, Rei just subtly changed her direction and began to walk once more. Though it was in Shinji's blood to desire solitude, he could not fathom what he would do if anything were to happen to her, it would be entirely his fault! Rei was brand new, she was first and she was last…she was also the second to the last person on Earth, and if nothing else, Shinji knew he could not fail her. With much nervousness in his voice, Shinji began,

"Uh…u-um Re…Aya-Ayanami?"

She slowed to a stop, and gave him a side view of her face, to show she was listening.

"Wh-Where are you going?"

"NERV." She said calmly, and thinking the conversation was complete, began to walk again.

"Ayanami wait…"  
She paused again, this was getting somewhat irritating, but for some reason she felt compelled to listen to what the young boy had to say. He had in fact, not only saved her life, but at one point before third impact, told her that she was his friend, a comment that not only startled her, but made her feel more comfortable in having conversations with him, even as far as to let him walk her home.

"Yes, Ikari?"

"I don't want you to…I don't think we should split up. I-I mean we're the last two people…here. Shouldn't we, don't you think we should stay together."

"Do you need companionship Ikari?" Rei asked, she was completely understanding if Shinji simply was afraid to be alone.

"No…it's…it's not that, it's just, I don't think we should leave each other…we should stay, and protect each other." He mumbled out.

Rei looked at him in the eyes, she was somewhat disappointed by this answer but still, the feeling of being with someone, especially Shinji was semi-appealing.

"If you need protecting, then I will protect you." She said plainly. This would have excited Shinji if she would not have spoken with such boredom in her voice, but like Rei, he was still happy she agreed to join him.

The two began to walk in silence, and suddenly a thought came to Shinji, just what _was_ Rei doing here. It was true that Shinji had recreated her as whole, but he did not bring her to this world, or so he could remember. He had inwardly believed that everyone would choose their own person Heavens and he would be left alone. Something that was a fear for most, but a Heaven for Shinji. Lost in his own thoughts he didn't even realize that he had once again stopped at a blinking red crosswalk sign. Glancing up Shinji noted that Rei was already almost to the other side and quickly tried to catch up. He was about call out to her when he first heard it: an huge explosion. Barely even registering this because of all the fires and post-Third Impact aftershock explosions, the only reason Shinji looked up was because it sounded very close, almost too close…

_Ikari!_ Rei thought as she turned back to look at what had caused the noise, Shinji was practically frozen in fear, and as Rei quickly followed his gaze he saw that a four door car, which had been crushed up against a wall by a convertible finally broke itself free by igniting it's gaze tank from the fires by the closest building. The convertible was shaken off of the sedan and nearly flipped over, still in neutral because of whoever's wet clothes sat in the drivers seat, the car quickly began to roll right toward Shinji!

Faster than the bat of an eye Rei moved, she slammed her fragile little body into his to move him from his path. She then turned and looked at the falling car and her impending doom…with bored eyes.

As Shinji was pushed he stumbled on his own feet and pivoted on his left heel causing him to spin completely around, it was then he saw the look on Rei's face, and that's when it felt as though time had stopped. She was bored! The girl was looking death right in the eye, and registered nothing. Not even the tiny movements in her face that Shinji had just started to noticed before he stopped spending time with Rei that showed if she was happy or sad were existent. She was going to die, and she did not give a damn about it.

With lighting quick reflexes that only an Eva pilot could truly admire, Shinji's hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, bringing her down on top of him, in a backwards and more dressed version of when they first had 'met'. The car screeched and bounced right were the two were standing and continued it's destructive course to the bottom of the hill until it came to a rest wedged between a stop light and a cemented-in park bench.

Rei looked up at Shinji, he was furious. She slowly moved herself off him and stood up, not even trying to help him back up, and rubbing her arm tenderly. He stood up and began to yell, his eyes tightly clenched as he screamed, trying to keep the tears he felt inside from escaping.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?"

Rei stopped rubbing her scuffed elbow and responded impassively,

"I do not understand your question."

That's when Shinji truly lost it.

"What do you mean you don't...Ayanami you could have been killed!"

Almost unnoticeably Rei squinted her eyes, trying to zero in on the Third Child. Why did it matter to him? Death meant nothing to the young girl, for right now, where they stood, she had no purpose. Every purpose she had ever held dear she had failed it. She first lived to assist the commander in returning his wife, she was unsuccessful at this because she left him at the last minute, then she lived just to be released, but instead she now was very much alive in a universe created by the brown haired boy who was screaming at her, and finally she had been rejected to become one with the same boy during Third Impact. So, Rei answered him truthfully.

"I have failed my purpose, there is no reason for my existence."

Shinji began to tear up, he had given Rei her own soul and this is how she uses it? It was too much to take, and Shinji clenched his fist and began to cry. Instead of speaking he delved deeper into his mind, and new that this was entirely _his_ fault. So, the two began to walk, and been doing so in silence for nearly ten minutes when Rei finally broke the silence.

"Where are we going Ikari?"

Rei too was was deep inside her own mind, why did it feel as though the two had taken to one step forward and two steps back since they had first met? The two had almost become one, they were spending more time together outside of NERV, and Rei knew she had fallen in love with the young boy. The small amount of goodness she had loved about Gendo was practically Shinji's entire being, he was perfect, and on more than one occasion, including the most recent, Rei felt as though she had saved his life. Shinji had rejected her offer to become one with her, but not did not want her to die? This made absolutely no mathematical sense. Her memories from her previous lives were weak at best, and as she struggled to remember them, she felt her lips move, echoing out the question of their destination.

"To Misat…to my home. You-you can sleep there, in Misato or Asuka's room…if…you what."

Rei continued to walk beside Shinji, this must have meant that she was fine with his plans. Shinji suddenly felt weak, not exactly tired, but just weak all over, as though ever ounce of energy inside him had been melted away, he wanted nothing more than to reach home and go to sleep. He had no idea what he was going to do now. Lost in a world where he was ½ of the entire population frightened him nearly to death, and with all the Angels and Eva's destroyed, he felt a little like Asuka when he asked himself, "What do I have now?"

The two finally reached their apartments, both were so confused now they could not think of what to say or do. Their prayers came true when they both heard a familiar voice speak gently,

"Do not worry, your answers will come in your dreams."

They looked at each other, Rei's crimson eyes nearly glowed in the dim light of the apartment as Shinji stared back at her, immediately knowing she too had heard the voice. Instantly Rei's desire to go to sleep increased 10 fold, and she looked at Shinji, wondering where she would sleep.   
As if reading her mind, Shinji began to open Misato's door, but when a handful of beer cans hit the floor when the blinder had only just began to open, he instead led Rei to Asuka's room. It too was a mess, but nothing compared to Misato's….or Rei's old room.

"You can stay here if you like." Shinji's complete feeling of weakness was robbing him of his normal nervousness.

"Understood." Rei whispered as she passed him.

"Goodnight Ayanami."

There was no response, but he heard her quickly undress and lie down onto Asuka's bed.

Shinji walked over to the balcony, the sun was setting and the environment that surrounded him seemed to be just another day. He was exhausted, mentally and physically, everything around him has changed, the world, his life, everything. The golden sky and purple and pink clouds calmed him slightly, but for just a moment he thought of the events that had occurred over the past few months, and he fell to his knees, gripping the bars on the balcony until his knuckles turned white like snow, and cried as hard as any man ever had. For a moment it felt if someone was there, standing beside him, watching him weep, but before Shinji could think twice about it exhaustion grabbed hold, and he passed out.


	3. This is a Dream Rei

Chapter 3 

This is a Dream Rei I know, For I have Had One Before No, You Haven't

"Wake up Rei."

The voice dragged Rei into a semiconscious state. She began to turn slightly, groaning, something cold was digging into her back and side.

"Mmmrm." She moaned out slightly, not entirely wanting to answer the voice.

"Get up _now_ Rei." The voice growled at her. It sounded familiar, like someone dragging their feet through gravel. The First Child thought for a moment, then when remembering whose voice this was, opened her eyes fully and moved herself into a sitting position.

Gendo Ikari stood in all his self deemed glory, standing just a few feet from Rei his glasses glimmered in the artificial light of…NERV? Rei looked around, gently moving her head from side to side, taking it all in. She was back inside NERV! To her left, not five feet away slept Eva-00, its ejection plug open, waiting patiently for her to get in. Over to her right stood Eva-01 and 02, both in the same state as hers. Quickly bringing herself up to a standing position a million questions raced through her mind. Where was she, had Third Impact been entirely a dream, where was Shinji, why was she in the Dock, what was happening, was she truly going to be forced to be Gendo's tool again?

"No, Third Impact happened in a manner I had not quite expected. Still, I am with Yui, and thus, I believe the project to be a complete success." Gendo responded to Rei's own thoughts, in his usual angry tone, but something was different, he seemed to hate speaking with her. What was going on?

"You are dreaming Rei." Gendo once again responded to her thoughts. "Unfortunately I have been taken away from my Yui, and my world to come here and answer all of your questions."

That's why the Commander was so angry, Rei's quest for answers ended in bringing him here. But why were they in the cage, and why…

Rei glared to herself without showing it and took in a deep breath, her mind was going a mile a minute.

"What you are feeling is an unfortunate side effect of being human." The Mickey Mouse-glove handed man said. "When you nearly became one with 15th Angel and it shared it's artificially rendered 'human emotions' with you, you had only felt the beginning of what it is to be human."

Rei was understanding every word as he spoke it, it was unlike her to keep repeating the same questions over and over, and her analytical mind took in everything her former commander was telling her. It was then she noticed it, something very amiss about the Commander, she didn't truly notice it until he sighed, she was too entranced in their conversation. But when he sighed angrily she noticed it, because they twitched slightly. Gendo had two jet black shimmering angel wings. They sprouted out his back, as though they had always been, though their color slightly troubled her, she had to admit they were quite beautiful. They glimmered like a black diamond, like a panther's fur, however disturbing, Rei had to admit, they were beautiful. After a moment of intense staring Gendo caught on to what Rei was looking at, glanced at them, and answered her unspoken question.

"Oh, these? I can only assume this is how you perceive me. This, Rei, is the me, inside of you."

"Do not be sad Shinji Ikari, for I am pleased with where I am." Kawou spoke softly, his voice was nearly enough to stop Shinji's tears…but not quite.

"Bu…but I killed you! I-I held you in Eva's hand and k-killed you, y-you never did anything to me….b..but…I killed a human….you were my friend Kaw…Kawrou, but I failed you. I-I…"

Kawrou smiled, his blue steel colored hair gently moved in the breeze, and he moved slowly over to Shinji to comfort him, pulling him gently into his chest, Shinji cried as hard as he could.

Shinji wept for what seemed like an eternity, the entire time Kawrou held him tightly, like a true friend. It wasn't until then did Shinji noticed the only thing that was keeping the sun out of his eyes were the two grey wings the Forth Child held high so to block the sun. Shinji's eyes tripled in size as he stumbled back, Kawrou looked at him worriedly.

"Wh-what are those?" Shinji screamed out, his voice reaching a high pitch.

Kawrou just smiled and spoke,

"They are a mental state of how you perceive me. You Lilan see white as perfection, as you can see I am tarnished. In your mind Shinji, I am flawed."  
"I-I am sorry." Shinji stumbled out, looking down in guilt.

"Do not be sorry Shinji. It was I who lied to you and betrayed our trust. You made me your friend, and I betrayed you."  
"Bu-but…"  
"But nothing. You only did what you were told to do, a friend to the end."

Shinji looked down at the ground, still feeling somewhat guilty. Kawrou turned his loving gaze away from the small boy and looked out over the city. The two were at the edge of Tokyo-3, the place where Misato had once taken Shinji to let him see the 'lowering' of the town, the town which, at the time, he had saved. The air was cool, and the sun hair stagnant in the air, just enough to cloud the land in a pink and purple haze.

"Why is it that you Lilan hide the most beautiful parts of your world?"

Shinji walked forward next to Kawrou, who was leaning over the side slightly. Shinji looked at him and wondered how the two had come to be there.

Kawrou smiled,

"You are still very much a god Shinji. The true creator grew wearily of man's insolence and finally bestowed onto them his divine powers to please you Lilan. But his patience will be short lived, and he will soon ask for you to return them, and when that time comes you will be forced to make a decision."  
"A decision on what?" Shinji asked fearfully.

"What will become of your world."

"B-but I can't make that decision!"

"You must, for the fate of humanity, you must stand up and face your destiny."

"B-but I can't! I can't make that kind of decision all by myself! A-all I ever do is hurt people…what makes you think I won't do that now. I-I'm a terrible person, a liar, an-and a cheat! There's no way you can make me make that decision."

"You have to Shinji, unlike piloting Eva, you don't have a choice."

There was a silence, and Shinji laid his head on his arms and looked out over the city, the tears wanted to come, but they couldn't, and Shinji tore himself up inside.

The two had been there for quite some time, unlike Gendo, Kawrou had waited until Shinji awoke on his own accord, and had already answered many of his questions. But many things still rushed through his mind, and in the end he was frantically searching for something to hate himself about. When he did this, it was the first time Shinji had ever seen Kawrou look sad, and it took all Shinji's might he had inside him, not to cry. But now, with this new revelation, Shinij didn't care anymore, all he wanted to do was run, and never face or see anyone, ever again.

"That is correct, you are no longer a genetic byproduct. Unlike your previous forms you are no longer 'perfect' on a genetic level, your genes are no longer programmed, you will now heal slower, your hair will begin to grow at a normal rate, and your preprogrammed intelligence will cease to be…in other words, you'll be human."  
Gendo and Rei still stood in the same place, five feet from one other, hands hanging at their sides. She had barely spoken at all, it was her mind that was doing all the talking, and as ruefully as he could, answered them in with detail. It was obvious that he was greatly irritated, and did not want to be here, he wanted to return to his Yui.

Rei would have liked to grant his wish, but though she did not speak, her mind still asked questions, and Gendo was confined to stay with her until they were all answered.

As Rei looked upon Gendo's annoyed face, she began to once again think about the person she couldn't be with right now, the only person in her life that truly mattered…Shinji. After all he had been through, Rei was beginning to fear for his safety…from himself.

"You have no reason to worry, though my _son_ is a coward, he will continue to live. He could not destroy himself if he tried."

Rei looked at Gendo with anger flashing in her crimson eyes, he had just insulted Shinji, and she felt a fire begin to burn inside of her. Remising from the time Rei had slapped Shinji for insulting Gendo it was much more difficult to control her emotions this time, but before the could do anything rash, smiled with a grunt and replied,

"So, it is what I thought, you are in love, with Shinji Ikari."

"The Second Child's death was not your fault Shinji. Evangelion Unit 1 was contained in bakelite, and could not move. This is just one more incident, that was not caused by you."

"B-but Asuka…she cried out…then she wouldn't help me…"

Shinji's head was still laying on his arms, looking out over the city, only his eyes showing. Kawrou was staring at Shinji, ready to answer his next question that came to his mind. When a fleeting thought of Misato crossed Shinji's mind, Kawrou took this chance and once again tried to relieve Shinji of his own self induced misery.

"She's doing well Shinji, though she's been quite busy with her new family lately."

Shinji turned to Kawrou, his eyes tripled in size,

"H-her what?"

"You have done more for humanity that you could ever fathom..." Kawrou replied, his voice never wavering.

Shinji could not believe his ears, Misato had a family? But how? Kaji was dead and Misato wasn't even pregna-

"Her family is because of you." Kawrou said, interrupting Shinji's thoughts, knowing full well what Shinji's first reaction would be.

"Bu-wha-I-hu-MY FAMILY! BUT I NEVER EVEN…I mean I didn't…She jus-just kissed me!"

Kawrou chuckled to himself softly,

"They are not your family in your Lilan sense, you gave her a Heaven in which to dream up a life for herself…this is what she chose."

"I…I don't think I'll ever understand this…" Shinji said, turning fully around and hunching over, making circles in the gravel with his fingers.

Without a second thought, Kawrou responded,

"You gave everyone a Heaven Shinji, a place where they could physically _live_ their fantasies…some Lilan live just as they had here, other give themselves love, and others just live from dream to dream. You, Shinji Ikari gave the world, gave all existence, their dreams. You have become a hero…Congratulations…"

Gendo Ikari's mouth, just for a split second, fell agape, a look of surprise crossed his face so quickly, that no one except Rei or Yui could have caught it. He quickly composed himself, and with as dry a voice as ever, spoke.

"Are you certain you desire this?"

"Yes." Rei's voice was so soft and so quick, that it did not even resonate from the walls around them, and only her Commander heard her.

"A request such as this will be painful Rei, it will be much worse than anything you have ever felt before."

Rei looked at her former 'father' and nodded slightly. She had finished her interrogation and was ready to wake up, the only item that troubled her were her newfound emotions, she knew it would take ages for her to fully understand them, and even longer to understand those of others. What she was requesting was the only way she believed to be able to understand herself, and her newfound life. The young girl had asked to not only remember every memory she ever had, but also, with full fledged human emotions. Gendo looked at her for a moment, and smiled slight, from his right cheek,

"Goodbye Rei."

Out of nowhere came the most terrifying pain Rei had ever felt, and she immediately fell to her knees, then onto the floor.

PAIN ANGER LOVE JEALOUSY HAPPINESS FEAR  
The memories of all her previous lives sped threw her mind like a flip book, each page was a different memory, and a different and excruciatingly powerful emotion.

SUFFERING LONELINESS EXCITEMENT NERVOUSNESS

They came faster and faster, each hitting her with more force than the last, she was growing up in her mind and in her heart too fast, and before she could suck in a last breath of air, Rei passed out, crumpled at the Commander's feet, her nose tripping blood, and her eyes dripping tears.

"Wh-what?" Shinji asked, eyes wide.

"Piloting EVA was her only purpose, reliving the glory days was the only real to make her truly happy again."

Shinji looked over the edge, smiling.

"You know what moment she relives the most Shinji Ikari?"

Shinji looked over to Kawrou worriedly.

"The training you two did to beat her first Angel."

Shinji looked back over the edge of the cliff, Kawrou leaned back facing the mountain side. Kawrou was truly happy, not only was the world of the Lilan beautiful but also the interaction between him and Shinji was always…interesting. Shinji moved slowly, climbing over the metal fence and sat at the grass in front of it, letting the wind blow through his hair, still trying to get a grasp on everything.

"I-I just don't understand." He said finally.

"That knowledge is not necessary. If you choose I could explain every Lilan's fantasy to you. And I would do this, just to set your mind at ease."

"But how? How could I have done this when I don't even understand it!" Shinji cried out, he was still worried greatly about his upcoming decision.

"Why is it that you continually search frantically for ways to hate yourself? Is pain truly that pleasurable to you? How is that you can hate yourself so much?"

"Y-you're not me…you wouldn't understand."

"You are correct," The red eyed boy said climbing over the fence to sit next to his friend, both of their legs hanging off the mountainside, "I am no Lilan, but I can understand man much better than you think."

"I-it's not that I hate myself for pity…It's just…when I hate myself it takes away from the pain I cause others…"  
"So you give yourself a pain so powerful that it eclipses anyone else's emotions? So you always know that no matter what happens to them, you are always suffering more?"  
Shinji looked away in complete disgust, he was pathetic, a piece of trash, nothing t-

"Did you learn nothing from Third Impact Shinji? You cannot be what others do not perceive you as. You are only you, in another's mind, and nothing else. And truly, for what you have given all of humanity…you are perfect."

Shinji looked over at Kawrou…and shook his head, he could never believe he would be anything, other than a failure.

Rei moved from side to side slowly, the bed she was laying on was soft and warm, though she felt the light from the day hitting her face and knew she had to awake, something was compelling her to stay in the perfection: it was a warm bed. She rotated around until she laid on her back, by far the most comfortable position known to man, and could have stayed there for an eternity, until she heard a concerned, yet beautiful voice inquire,

"Are you feeling any better?"

This was a voice Rei had never heard before, it was like a chime, so thick with something that Rei could not put her finger on, and when she opened her eyes, she saw a very familiar smiling face.

"Good morning…did you sleep well?"

Rei's eyes stayed glued on the twenty something year old woman, she had no idea who she was, and once again, where she was. Glancing around she saw that she was now in the medical area of NERV, the smell of alcohol burned her nostrils, and looking intently at the woman, Rei spoke,

"Identify yourself."

The woman smiled sadly,

"In another life, you could perhaps say I was your mother. My name, is Yui Ikari."

Without a second thought anger flowed up inside of her. It was Yui's fault she had been created, that she had been forced to live day by day in nearly ongoing pain, she was forced to live, until Yui could be brought back.

"I must apologize for the rudeness of my husband." Yui giggled, "I actually believe it was that trait that I found most desirable about him…isn't that funny? Gendo being…Gendo is and was most attractive about him. I guess…it felt nice. He treated everyone around him with a lack of respect, but when it came to me…I was different…I guess it made me feel…special, that he would share that side of himself with me...and no one else."

Rei was taken aback, she had felt the exact same way when she first fell in love with her father, like a child who wants a parent all for their selves', Rei only felt truly alive around Gendo, and at first, she believed he felt the same way.

"I'm…sorry." Yui said wistfully, responding to Rei's previous thoughts, "It was my fault you were forced to suffer. T-to tell you the truth, I had always wanted a daughter…a little sister…for Shinji. But when Evangelion Unit 01 tried to hold me inside, I…stopping thinking so selfishly…and began to moreso think about humanity. That's the true reason I stayed in the Eva."

Looking down at her blanket, Rei knew inside her that it was not Yui's fault she was forced to suffer, it was Gendo's…and she still hated him for it, her fingers wrapping tightly around the sheets.

"Gendo was only partially correct when he said that emotions were the most painful thing you would ever experience. But they are also the most beautiful. All of your short life had been pain, and when you requested to have it all returned to you, it was too much. What my husband and all of NERV asked you, Asuka, and Shinji to do was inhuman, but it is now over…no longer little Rei are you a tool…you are a young woman. More importantly you are a young woman in love…and there is nothing more better than that."  
Rei let go of the sheets, and began to once again get the feeling that she was being torn up inside,

"But how can I be me, when I am still you?"

Yui sat on the bed, a bit too close for Rei's liking, and again smiled.

"Because you have your own soul, your own mind, and your own heart. As you put it so perfectly before Rei, You are Rei Ayanami, and she, is you."

Yui stood up and walked to the window, the gold from the midday sun hit her face beautifully, and Rei could not help but stare.

The older woman gave Rei a smiling side profile of her face and spoke just barely above a whisper, trying her hardest to meet Rei's voice,

"I am glad to have met you. You would make a perfect wife for my little boy."

Rei's eyes opened completely for a minute, and her face flushed…she was blushing…and smiling.

"You may wake up now…my little Rei."

"Kawrou…can I ask you something?" Shinji asked the other boy, he had resumed his position sitting in front of the fence, letting his legs dangle.

"Of course."

"Wh-what do you dream of…i-in you heaven?"

Kawrou looked at Shinji with a hint of sadness in his face,

"I am no Lilan, I do not dream Shinji."

"Oh…" Was Shinji's only response.

The two sat on the top of the mountainside in silence for some time, still lapping up all the misery he could find.

"What about Aya-Ayanami?"

"That is something you should be very proud of. You gave her what she never had, a true life, no longer is she a replica of your mother, she is a whole new human."

"But…I brought her into a world of pain and suffering, how could I do that to her?"

"I think she is happy just being with you…" Kawrou whispered to himself, Shinji, thinking he caught what Kawrou said looked at him with his a look of shock on his face,

"She is alive, and she is not alone…you have done well with Rei Ayanami as well."

Looking back out over the city in the cool night air Shinji smiled slightly, and Kawrou knew he was finally getting through to him, but there was one more item they had to discuss.

"There is one more item we must discuss before we leave this place."

"W-what? I don't want to leave, I want to stay here…with you Kawrou!" Shinji yelled out worriedly, he was saddened instantly by the realization that he must one again leave his best friend.

"I am sorry Shinji but you must, it is not in your Lilan nature to constantly dream, you must at one point awake."

"B-but…I can't loose you again Kawrou…you were the only one who…who…"

"Was there for you? No…I was just the only other who made it so obvious. Many others were there for you, you could just not see it."

Shinji looked down, beginning to tear up again, he did not want to leave at all.

"Shinji you must. But we will see each other again."  
"When?" The Third Child asked, looking up with happiness strewn across his face, Kawrou smiled in return and spoke,

"When you are asked to make your decision on what will happen to this world."  
"B-but…I-I can't."

"You can…and you must."

SHINJI? A whisper-like voice came from the sky.

Kawrou looked up and instantly recognized Rei's voice,

"She awoke earlier than I thought she would."

"Wh-what was that?" Shinji asked, looking around worriedly.

"It seems that I am not the only one who knows that you need to wake up."

"Ayanami?"

Kawrou nodded in response, "You do not have to fear her anymore Shinji, she is just the way you perceived her before Dr. Akagi showed you her husks. You must go to her."

"Bu-but Kawrou I…"

Kawrou stood, helping Shinji up. He turned from facing the sky and looked Shinji right in the eye with a smile,

"She needs you now."

"I-I understand…"

"Goodbye Shinji Ikari, we will meet again."  
"Kawrou…"

Shinji took one last look at the beauty which was mankind's last great city, then looked toward the sky. As he began to awake he heard Kawrou's voice echoing in his mind,

"If I were to dream, if I were to have my own heaven…it would have been spent with you…Shinji Ikari…"


	4. Float On

**Chapter 4**

**Float On**

"Shinji?" Rei called out once more, standing over him in the golden morning sun, she was wearing the same outfit she had the day before.

"Mrrrmmm…" Shinji mumbled in reply, he had left his dream world but now was caught in a very blissful midmorning sleep. Breathing in deeply he furrowed his brow, the smell of smoke hit him hard, the fires throughout town were getting worse, it was almost as if it was right under him.

"I have prepared breakfast, if you desire to eat, you may join me." Rei said before giving up on the young boy who had found a bed on the outside deck.

Shinji moved and groaned, his back was pounding, the bars he laid across felt like knives grinding into him. The burning smell became worse, and he peaked open one eye just to make sure it wasn't _his _building that had caught flames. Unfortunately, it was…sort of.

Smoke was billowing freely from the house, more specifically, the kitchen, and after Shinji had a moment to stand up and survey his surroundings. he noticed that the smoke was coming from his breakfast, and with a gulp, walked into the apartment.

The two ate in silence, actually, to put it more correctly, neither of them spoke, the silence itself was broken by the loud crunching noises they both made trying to eat the burnt eggs and toast.

"W-why…ahem...why did you decide to make breakfast Ayanami."

Rei was silent for a moment then answered Shinji's question with a question,

"Did you have a strange dream last night?"

Shinji shook his head absently.

"So did I, the Commander was there, as was your…Yui Ikari was there as well."

Shinji's jaw dropped.   
His mother was there? But how, why? If Rei had the same kind of dream Shinji had then that only could mean that she brought in someone who was very close to her, did Rei even know his mother. And why had Shinji subconsciously picked Kawrou instead of his own mother! Shinji's mind was asking a million questions when Rei interrupted his thoughts.

"The Commander gave me true emotion in my dream. When I awoke, it was still there. The breakfast…I…felt…like making."

Rei was still not quite understanding emotion…whatsoever, her analytical mind saw no real reason that she should make breakfast, there was a better chance that the meal would have been edible if Ikari would have prepared it himself. But when she had found the young boy snoozing on the deck in the morning sun, she felt compelled to make breakfast, it was as though her body took over and was moving without her intervention.

Shinji looked upon her with a puzzled gaze, why had she forced the word 'felt' so hard? Where emotions really that difficult to handle? Shinji looked down at his inedible black gruel which still smoked black in front of him and shook his head. What did _he_ know about emotions? The only emotion he knew was hatred, for himself.

"I believe it would be wise if you made the meal tomorrow Ikari." Rei looked at him, her eyes nearly pleading as she poked angrily at her burnt outside, raw inside egg.

Shinji couldn't help but laugh, but when it seemed, just for a moment that it hurt Rei's feelings, he abruptly stopped, and became very interested in the salt shaker.

Later in the day Shinji returned to his place out on the balcony, and Rei, not enjoying the feeling of boredom, found one of Misato's NERV training books and decided to read it from cover to cover.

This is what life was like for the final remaining people on Earth. Every morning Shinji would wake up and make breakfast, the two would eat, in awkward silence, then Shinji would take his place on the balcony, killing himself over what he had made of the world. Rei, mildly understanding Shinji's pain left the young boy to himself and with bored interest lingered through her new home reading every book that had the word NERV on it she could find, sadly, it was the only true thing she could understand. Like clockwork, the Third Child would come in at 12:30 to make lunch and at 6:15 to make dinner. Then the near the end of the day, which was Rei's favorite part, she would join Shinji on the deck and the two would look up at the night in silence. Every so often Shinji would stutter out something irrelevant, or Rei would note something in her usual analytical tone. The young girl had noticed something different though, every day, the two grew closer, even without ever actually having a full conversation, she noticed that every night the two stayed out approximately 5 minutes longer, and stood an average of 6 millimeters closer. Reading had also began to become difficult for her, she repeatedly caught herself looking up from the book and out at Shinji.

It wasn't until an evening with Shinji, three weeks later that Rei finally spoke to him about something other than atmospheric conditions.

"Ikari?"

Shinji kept staring complacently at the town, he loved this part of nightfall, because even though everyone was gone, the city was still alive. Piece by piece the entire city lit up until the entire area began to glow in a beautiful artificial light.

"Yes Ayanami?"

"I believe we should go out tomorrow."  
"W-what?" Shinji asked, somewhat misinterpreting her meaning.  
"Our supply of food is nearly extinguished, we need to go to town to replenish it…also…"

Rei looked down, not really wanting to tell Shinji her problem. Shinji looked over at her, and then looked back quickly, blushing. The red eyed girl looked beautiful in the evening sky, her eyes seemed to actually light up…but, he hadn't felt that way since before Dr. Akagi showed him and Misato Rei's clones. He really hadn't thought about her much over the past few weeks. Mostly he had been wallowing in self pity and hatred. What surprised him most was how, almost instantly, his friendship with Ayanami returned, he had obviously been aware about her frequent visits to him on the outside deck, but other than making forced conversation, he never really had thought about her…he had still seen her as a clone, and was still scared of her. Until now.

"What is it Ayanami?"

"My current attire is in need of cleaning." She replied, her usual whisper like voice was even lower, as though she didn't want anyone to hear her but Shinji.

Shinji snickered, but when noticing a light blush on the face of the first child, began coughing to cover it up. He was far from mastering when it was right to laugh and when it was inappropriate and semi-hurtful. He knew that they would have to return to the streets soon, but with all the empty piles of clothes, and the memories that the streets held of his previous life, he was not entirely excited to tread back out. But knowing he had failed everyone else, he knew he could not fail Ayanami.  
With a false smile on his face he looked over at Rei and shook his head 'yes'. The two were to go out in the streets tomorrow, but for tonight, and for the first time, they just stood enjoying each others company, and the silence they gave each other.

For the very first time in her entire life, Rei woke with a smile. Since she had been given emotions it seemed as though all her dreams had been about all the pain and suffering she had endured during the years. She grew to resent sleeping, but last night was different, she had a dreamless sleep, and awoke feeling refreshed and excited. Her smile was short lived, and the moment she noticed that she was in fact smiling she went back to her usual emotionless expression. Even though the smell of leftovers for breakfast was not entirely enticing to her, the fact that the two of them were actually leaving the apartment practically made her feel like she was on cloud 9.

Shinji stood over the stove when he heard the shower start, looking over he frowned. The Third Child on the other hand was not looking forward to going out whatsoever, he could not stand to see the city close up, and was trying desperately to think of an excuse to get out of it. But Rei looked almost happy the night before, even if she did not outwardly show it. He knew he could not fail her, like he had failed everyon…

_Squeak._

The shower turned off and tore Shinji from his thoughts, as Rei crossed out from the bathroom to Asuka's old room, Shinji snuck a small peak at the albino girl who's only covering was a small towel. He immediately looked back at his preparations, his entire face beet red.

As the two ate breakfast, Shinji was still red, Rei kept shooting him peculiar looks that held mild curiosity. Trying to change the topic away from his face Shinji asked Rei what all she wanted to do today.

"I require the necessities." She replied matter of factly. "Also…I no longer wish to wear Pilot Sohryu's clothing."

Shinji smiled to himself when Rei came out a few days prior wearing one of Asuka's school outfits. It seemed to be just like Rei's, but the bust was about 3 sizes to large, and the First Child had to keep tucking it in to prevent it from bunching up under her chin. Rei saw out of the corner of her eye Shinji's smile, and it gave her a good feeling, maybe he wasn't hating himself…as much.

An hour later, the two started off, Rei bunching her…Asuka's shirt down, and Shinji glancing around nervously, as though something was going to jump out at him. The two walked in silence, they had decided to first stop at the mall, Shinji was surprised at how adamantly Rei was acting toward getting out of Asuka's wardrobe. The two entered the mall and Shinji started toward one of the lower end clothing stores,

"Ikari?" Rei called from across the hall, her voice echoed amongst the cool tile floor and the flashing advertisements.

He looked over to her, she had been started walking toward one of the more expensive stores, Shinji looked down with embarrassment,

"I don't really make that much money Ayanami…"

One of Rei's eyebrows perked up, what was Shinji talking about, didn't he know that they didn't _have_ to pay?

That's when it hit him…hard. His eyes instantly tripled their normal size. The brown haired boy just realized that he and Rei were in a mall, by themselves, with enough free stuff to last them ten lifetimes. The Tokyo-3 mall near NERV, though somewhat destroyed, had always been marveled because of it's massive 4 story tall, and 3 block radius size. This was by far, the greatest day of Shinji Ikari's life.

"A-Ayanmi…we…we can have anything we want…" He exclaimed, almost trembling with excitement. All the clothing stores, the toy stores, the music, movies, and food courts, they were all now owned by one Rei Ayanami and one Shinji Ikari. They had both become the two richest people ever to live.

"There is no reason to purchase unnecessary items, we should only pick up what is essential to our survival." She replied quickly, slightly bringing down Shinji's high.

"B-but Rei…haven't you ever wanted to just own everything!" He asked with childlike maturity.

"I do not understand your logic behind 'owning everything'."

Shinji practically galloped up to her, he knew he would have to get her to make one exciting purchase if he was going to go on a shopping spree.

"Comon Ayanami, you have never wanted anything that you couldn't have...even if there was no point in having it?"

Rei's eyes rolled away from Shinji as her face turned towards the floor, for a moment her mind returned to the first day after Third Impact, when she had gazed longingly at a pair of comfortable jeans and a plain yellow T.

Surprisingly Shinji caught on, and tried once again to get Rei to buy something.

"You _do _want to buy something other than a school outfit! Ayanami, we're the last two people in the world…we should have fun!"

The First Child could not help but feel good at the excitement Shinji was feeling, she quickly pivoted and began to walk, a confused voice called out behind her.

"Where…Where are you going?"  
Rei stopped at gave Shinji a side profile of her face,  
"To purchase what I desire."

Then continued toward one of the popular female clothing stores. Shinji smiled widely and took off toward one of the music stores, he knew exactly what he was going for.

Rei Ayanami felt strange, she had never truly wanted anything in her entire life, but now the fact remained that she _could_ have anything, she wanted _everything_! Though none of this attire was essential to her or Shinji's survival, she felt as though every shirt, necklace, jeans, and bracelet, was just as important to her as food and water. But it wasn't only that, she also was searching for clothes that weren't only up to her standards, but also up to what she thought Shinji's standards were as well. It was strange, she was not thinking about Shinji consciously, but when picking out a blouse, her mind wondered on Shinji's thoughts and chose her outfit accordingly.

Shinji on the other hand one thinking about one thing and one thing only: Mp3 player. His old one was unfortunately overused and broken even before Third Impact, the dead battery was only one of the many problems his little escape from reality had. Searching through the store he finally came across one that fit his liking, practically ripping it out of it's plastic store container he plugged in the earpiece and put the buds in his own ears and hit play. The sound of a cello quartet filled the room, he was so happy that the new players came stock with over four thousand song, mostly classical, a way for the common man to relive his lost past. Shinji sat back against the wall and slide down until he was in a sitting position, his head resting back, and closed his eyes, he was not going anywhere for quite some time.

Rei was having trouble finding a way to carry all her new items from one store to the next, the young girl had started shopping, and she had no intention of quitting. It was not really the all the clothes that compelled her to keep shopping, nor was it the fact that she could own anything she wanted, it was the simple emotion of pleasure that felt as though it was on overdrive every time she threw another blouse into her basket. Her mind was racing so fast because of her emotions she could barely think, and it wasn't until she had two large baskets in each hand, a pair of jeans slumped across each shoulder that she noticed something…she needed a better means of transportation.

Gently laying everything onto the floor she walked over to one of the larger department stores and withdrew a cart, then she carefully emptied every new product in the cart. She glared at herself for letting her emotions take her over so easily, she enjoyed her newfound feelings but she would have to begin regulating herself if she were to get anything done. Even her systematic mind was having trouble grasping everything she had been feeling the last few days, she had actually spent an entire week trying to understand her feelings toward the only other remaining person to no avail. Never have been taught her emotions truly, the only real experience she had every had like this was between her and the Commander, but even those feelings were dwarfed by the ones she was having for the young Shinji Ikari.

Mozart's Fifth came and went, as did many other classics that Shinji had memorized and even learned at one point on his Cello. Shinji was on the brink of sleep and furrowed his brow, he knew Rei would probably be getting bored, and they would have to leave their mall. A disappointed Shinji had really not even had much time to shop, he was to engulfed in his new music player, and right before Shinji decided to get up, something blocked the lights that had been beating down on him. Opening his eyes, a featureless blue haired girl stood over him, with two carts of clothing on each side and something in her hand. Shinji jumped up, gaping at the four carts of clothing.

"Wha…You…Did you b-buy all this stuff Ayanami!"

"No purchases were made, all of these items were without charge."

Shinji looked at every cart, even though the girl had only been gone for an hour, she had already been to nearly every clothing store in the mall, and arranged each basket according to it's contents, one for shirts, one for jeans, one for shoes, and so on.

Shinji looked up and Rei handed him a cup, it was filled to the brim with chocolate ice cream. Shinji gave her a dumbfounded look, she acting like a normal girl.

"I believe I had always…wanted…to try this." She said simply, answering Shinji's unasked questions of why.

He gulped loudly and took the uneven cup of ice cream, and muttered out without though,

"Th-thank you."

She looked up from her small snack right into his eyes, holding the boy in a trance for a moment, then returned to her meal.

The two left the music store and walked through the empty halls, the sound of Rei's carts echoed off the walls. It was then Shinji decided something: How could he have been so stupid? All his wallowing the past weeks caused him to completely ignore Rei, he was looking so hard for something about himself that he was doing wrong and it had always been right in front of him. Rei Ayanami, the girl who had just became human was trying to understand all her emotions and her new life and couldn't, because Shinji had her practically trapped in his apartment. He looked over at her and he could tell she was struggling slightly trying to pull all the carts. Shinji looked forward again and glared at himself, he was still treating her like a clone, he was an idiot, a baka…just like Asuka said he was. He had to make it up to her, and not with just another meal, something just for her…something fun.

"Let…let me help you Ayanami." He said quietly, taking hold of one of her carts. She did not respond but gratefully let Shinji take one of the heavy shopping carts.

"Ha…have you ever been to-to a place like that?" Shinji asked, he hated himself for not being able to speak without stumbling over his words.

Rei looked at what Shinji was referring to, a large colorful store with the words Toys Toys Toys flashing brightly. She looked back at Shinji and shook her head, there was something entrancing about the colorful lights and light carnival music that grew louder as the two approached.

They dropped off their carts outside and both entered, Shinji looked around happily for something fun to do, and Rei regretted her coming right when she entered, she was entirely too old for this. Dashing off Shinji caught a glimpse of what he was looking for and disappeared behind one of the aisles leaving Rei to stand next to the cash register. Glancing around she could not fathom why any self respecting person would want to come here, the noise was quickly growing annoying, everything was brightly colored, and items were just placed without any means of order. She placed one hand over her elbow and looked almost pathetically at the remains of one of the store's workers.

After a few minutes Rei grew tired of waiting for Shinji and decided to return to wait for him outside the store, away from the music. Right as she turned something small pegged her in the back of the head, and a boy's voice laughed nervously behind her. Whipping her head around angrily she saw Shinji standing behind her with what looked like a purple bow with a small yellow object at the end. He looked at her, smiled, then squinted as he took aim, moving at lightning fast speed she narrowly dodged the oncoming weapon and looked at Shinji, surprised.

"Why did you attack me?"

Shinji looked up from the bow, amazed at Rei's agility,

"It...it wouldn't have hurt."

She walked toward him and narrowed her eyes at him,

"_Why_ did you attack me?"

Shinji was now completely freaked out, he had brought Rei here to have fun but now she was going to hate him even more.

"I-it's just a game…it's supposed to be fun, I was trying to give you some fun…because….well I…" Shinji looked away with a guilty expression on his face.

Rei paused for a moment and thought, then with a mischievous but well hidden look on her face, moved quickly and stole the bow. Before Shinji could even react Rei moved a couple of feet away, armed the toy weapon and took sight. Firing, and hitting a very stunned Shinji right between the eyes she said simply,

"I win."

Shinji's jaw dropped look mirrored how Rei felt inside. Why had she just done that? There was no point, no reason to do this. It was not a training exercise, and in a way it was somewhat malicious. She had no intention of ever hurting Shinji, but there was a strange feeling inside her stomach, and a flow of adrenaline, similar to the one she got from fighting the Angels, shot through her body. She paused for a moment, bow in hand, trying to explain to herself what she had really just done. She lowered the bow and shook her head, her hair moved back and forth. Rei knew fully well that she was indeed very in love with her new emotions, but she had to contain them, she couldn't just adhere to their every whim. This mixture of old analytical Rei, and the new Rei Shinji had only seen during Third Impact frightened the young girl, and she knew she had to gain control of herself.

She looked up, unintentionally blushing slightly.

Shinji's mouth still open, a small pink mark now lay on his forehead from the arrow couldn't help but be amazed. Was this really the Rei he had known so long ago? It was hard to tell, she seemed to be slipping from the girl he knew before to someone completely different. When she began to blush, he knew that she was going to reverse back into her old self, and he couldn't let her do that…Shinji wasn't having fun yet. He looked her in her crimson eyes and said right before he ran,

"You're dead!"

The two ran from aisle to aisle finding new things that peaked Rei's interest, which were unfortunately few and far between, but when the two did find something of mutual enjoyment they both held onto it for separate reasons. Shinji, because he was still feeling bad about how he had been treating Rei, and Rei…for beginning to understand the love which became more and more powerful every time she saw the young boy. When the two finally quit, and Shinji sat down, leaning back against the wall, and Rei standing over him, her arms at her sides, Shinji thought of something that would make the day perfect. And after about 15 minutes of silence and heavy breathing, mostly from Shinji's end, he finally spoke,

"Aya-Ayamani…can I ask you something?"

She did not reply but just looked at him expectantly.

"Do you remember when we…when we you to spend time to-together…you know…like outside of work?"

"Yes." She replied, curious where this was going.

"Remember what I used to call you?" Shinji was staring at his feet, his face burning red.

Rei thought for a moment and when she remember, she nodded her head, the tingly feeling she had before when they were playing came up again.

"We-well I...I was just wondering if I could call you again…like…like I did before…Dr. Akagi…I mean…before Third Impact."

"You may." Rei replied, the feeling was growing at a rapid rate.

Shinji looked up and her and beamed,

"Really! Ok…I will…Rei. And…and you can call me the same too!"

She looked down at him, he had called her by her first name before, but not once had he ever called him by his, to say the least, the young girl was just encountering the feeling known as nervousness. She quickly dismissed this, and without even a slight amount of emotion, replied.

"Thank you, Shinji Ikari."


	5. Millimeter Smile

Millimeter Smile

Shinji's nervous hand shook gently as he maneuvered around the pile of dirty clothes; he picked up a crumpled t-shirt and two pairs of pants and placed them in his laundry basket. Eyeballing the two pairs of panties and single bra, he was trying, as usual, to pick up everything else in the messy room before he had to pick up _those_ items.

Rei glanced up from her writing to look at Shinji; she nearly smiled at his red face and shaking hand, then returned to her novella.

It had been three weeks since the mall incident. It had ended on a odd note: Shinji, with an act of brilliance, thought it might be nice for Rei to write down all her new emotions in a journal, found a leather bound version of one and tucked it away until they returned home. The next night when the two spent their usual preslumber stay on the balcony, a very out of character Shinji gave Rei a gift complete with the Shinji 'uhs' and 'ums', which she received with a very out of character blush. Shinji explained how the journal worked and Rei looked at it lovingly, not because it was really that wonderful of a present, but because it was from Shinji. She did not know how to react whatsoever, so the young girl did what she always did, nodded and turned back to the night's sky. Though she clutched the book dearly, Shinji was almost hurt at her lack of display of emotion.

For the first three days the book sat on the dresser near Asuka…or Rei's new bed. After some much internal debating, and a pleading look from Shinji, Rei sighed and decided to write something. It only took a few minutes for Rei to most graciously fall in love with her tiny book. It was perfect! She could now write down every emotion she had during her 'high' and when she returned to her more analytical, normal, self, she could digest it and try to interpret it. It was a more acceptable way to spend her time other than reading she decided and it became much more productive use of her time.

The newest 'chapter' in her journal as Shinji called it read as followed.

_I believe I am no longer Rei Ayanami. I have changed somehow with the appearance of The Commander and his wife in my dream. The emotions that now attacking me at an exceedingly quickened pace. My 'newest' emotion is less distressful, it is more like the pleasant feeling of drifting in an ocean, and it occurs on every even day. I have noticed, because of Shinji's cleaning rituals, that he had found my way of keeping well kept insufficient, and instead chose to do all the duties himself, including my own room. I have also noticed that the dirtier the room, the longer he will spend in it while I sit on my bed, writing. It is odd an occurrence as simple as his presence gives me such a pleasurable emotion. _

Though Rei's writings mirrored her thoughts to the letter, she never outwardly expressed her emotions; she did not smile, laugh, cry, wince, or even blush…when she could help it. Rei had mixed emotions about her journal, sometimes she enjoyed it and other times she hated it, she enjoyed the pleasure that the boy gave her, but did not enjoy the inability to control herself…currently, if she had a choice whether to keep her emotions or lose them, she decided with all of herself that she would choose to lose them. She felt as though she was losing her identity. As she put it before, Rei Ayanami is no longer who she was.

Shinji leaned forward and slowly picked up one of Rei's bras. He was very careful to make sure that he touched as little fabric as possible.

The young pilot of Eva Unit 1 was as torn up inside as his friend. With the help of Beethoven's classical music that poured out of the headphones, which always seemed to be attached to Shinji's skull, and the fact that he was trying to give Rei a world and a life to live in he was slowly starting to hate himself less. His trips to the balcony only were at night, and they were just to watch the city light up and…to stand by Rei. Shinji's thoughts were not constantly about her like Rei's were about him, but moreso on the fact of what to do next, where was everyone, and what had he really done to this world… But there was a feeling for her that was beginning to peak through, and it was not purely sexual or needy like it had been with Asuka. He knew his feelings for the fiery redheaded pilot were at first sexual but then changed as everyone neared Third Impact, Asuka had been the only person there for him, the only one he could really talk to, he needed her not because he liked her truly, but she had just become the only person he could trust.

The feelings that flooded him every time Shinji saw Rei were completely different, it was as though he was just happier in her presence, and he had fun with her and the becoming not so awkward silences they shared. There was something that he loved most about her though, and it was her scent. She never wore perfume, nor did she use the Green Apple shampoo that he did, and even her deodorant and soap were unscented. Yet the young girl had a scent to her, the aroma of cleanliness, the smell of perfection, the aura of Rei. At night's Shinji found himself moving a closer and closer to Rei, what disturbed him most though, even though he loved this scent, it reminded him of his mother, and though he moved closer physically, Shinji moved farther away emotionally, staying just out of reach of real affection. He had withdrawn not only because of her fragrance that reminded him of his mother, but her other mannerisms were oddly familiar as well, and from time to time Shinji remembered where Rei had come from. A tube, full of his mother's blood.

Walking out of the room, basket in hand, with an out of sight disappointed Rei looking out at him, Shinji shuddered at his thoughts.

Rei looked out at the empty doorway with her insides twisting around in a way that she had deemed unpleasant, always feeling this way whenever she was alone. In her previous life the thought of being alone did not bother her, in all actuality she preferred it, the only times she 'enjoyed' being around people was in the Commander's presence. Since then though her heart had left him and turned to Shinji, and it was different, so much stronger, nearly overpowering, and with him being only 10 feet away, Rei did not understand why even though she could still see the young boy's shadow outside the thin paper walls, why she missed him so dearly.

"I do not understand this." She whispered to herself, and began translating her feelings into diagnosis-like writing in her journal.

Shinji had just finished laundry nearly two hours later and gently wiped the bit of sweat from his brow, he was not looking forward to doing laundry once the power in the city would cease, and he worried that it would happen any day now. Every morning when he awoke he crossed his fingers and slowly opened one eye at a time to look at the digital clock he had set next to his bedding.

Folding Rei's last t-shirt and dropping it into the basket he couldn't wait to start dinner, the sooner dinner was over, the sooner the two could get to the balcony, and Shinji could once again try and have a full conversation with the last girl on Earth. He smiled to himself at that thought, Asuka had once told him she would not date him if he was the last person on Earth, what if she would have awoken next to him? What would she say now?

After a delicious meal of noodles and rice for Rei, and noodles, meat and rice for Shinji, and after all the dishes were done Shinji breathed in deeply, taking in as much of the night and of Rei as he could. He looked down regrettably as he knew that him and Rei could never be.

Rei glanced out over the city, picking her brain as much as possible. Rei had to practically meditate, to drown herself in her own thoughts just so she would not lose herself to the emotions that Shinji caused her to have. She was desperately looking for something, and right before she lost the battle and gave into her 'new Ayanami' emotions, she saw something swaying gently in the cool night's air. Squinting, it flickered in and out of the light she could not fully tell what the object in question was.

"Shinji?" She requested in the darkness, hearing Rei call him by his first name caused Shinji's face to redden.

"Yes, Rei?"

"What is that?" The girl asked.

Shinji had to follow Rei's gaze to see what she was looking at. Barely making it out he could tell it was a swing, he didn't exactly see it but it was just it's relative location near the apartment that gave him the ability to make it out.

"That's the park. A-Asuka and I us…we used to walk by it everyday." Shinji looked down, sadly thinking of his old roommate and how he would never see her again. Shinji had found a new way to torture himself, by letting his head remind him of all the things he would never see again. To be honest, he missed the redheaded young girl.

"I wish to go there." Rei said. It was the only thing that came to her mind; she was trying to pull Shinji away from his thoughts.

Shinji looked and at the girl who's gazed stayed complacently on the park. 'Wished'. This was a word Rei had been using more and more, he knew she was beginning to mature and was glad to see it, she was no longer only acting on what she needed, but she was beginning to do what she actually, _wanted_, and Shinji tried everything in his power to give her that. Smiling he knew that he no longer did this because he felt like he had to, because it was he had brought her to this world, but instead because he wanted to, and the more time he spent with her, the happier he became.

The next morning after breakfast Shinji came out of the shower drying his hair, Rei was once again on the balcony, trying to get a better look at their destination. Walking up to her he asked her if she wanted to go today, she barely nodded her head yes, and the two set out.

Immediately Rei regretted coming. This place had looked so much more beautiful in the evening sky, but in reality it was nothing more than a few oddly shaped chunks of steel and a ugly gravel floor.

On the other extreme, Shinji was ecstatic he had always stared longingly at the park every time he and Asuka would pass, wanting to relive his childhood days, but Asuka would always pick on him for it, and regrettably, they would continue walking. He quickly jogged toward the swing set, shuddering as he passed the sand box…those were memories he never wanted to relive. Once he reached the swings he sat down and just enjoyed the feeling of it for a moment, before finally coming to and realizing that Rei was standing just outside the entrance, she was staring at one of the curly red slides with a hint of distaste.

"Come on over Rei!" He screamed just a bit too loud, his voiced echoed off the nearby buildings.

Why has this cylinder been sliced in half and bent into this awkward position? Rei asked herself as she looked at the slide; this is what Shinji was so excited about? Though the crimson eyed girl was in love with Shinji, he was far from perfect, and his immaturity sometimes irritated Rei. She sighed inwardly and entered walking toward the swings, Shinji practically giddy with excitement held a swing for her and when she sat down he began to push her.

"Please, do not do that." Rei expressed lightly with almost a sharp tone, she had never been on a swing before and was used to having complete control of her surroundings.

The Third Child's excitement practically evaporated by Rei's tone, though she was intentionally being mean, it cut through the young boy's confidence like a knife, and he walked solemnly over to the sandbox, and put his finger in the sand, tracing it around in circles. He was definitely not going to get in, but the sandbox gave him a slight feeling of pain he thought he deserved.

Rei was having the worst time of her life. Unlike her Eva she was not able to have complete control over the swing, and the metal bars were digging into her delicate arms. The swing would not respond to her, though she wanted to move just back it forth, it would move slightly to the left or to the right on it's own accord, and was beginning to make Rei sick. Unfortunately it was going to fast for her tiny shoes that she had regrettably worn to stop herself, she looked up at Shinji for assistance, but he was lost in a world of his own.

I was just trying to help her…Shinji thoughts were shooting through him a mile a minute…why is it that I hurt or offend everyone I come into contact with? It's just…Shinji's thoughts went on for several moments until he finally tried to shake them away, glancing back toward Rei she was obviously _not_ having fun. Staring at her he wished he had not brought her here, but still, even mad, she was still beautiful. Her blue hair swirled around in the light air, her crimson eyes glistened in the midafternoon sun, and her school dress that she was wearing once again was moving as she swung and a slight draft brought it up so he could just see her pan…Shinji's eyes doubled their size at this sight as was about to turn away in shame when he noticed Rei was no longer on this swing but had instead tried to stop herself with her left foot, but hitting a rock caused her to trip and with the speed of the swing launched her on a collision course with Shinji. Before he could even yell out she hit him hard, their faces bluntly hitting each other as the two sailed back into the sand box, Shinji's lips grazed Rei's for a split second and the two slid across the sand.

Shinji laid back and did not make eye contact with Rei, her expression was, Rei-like and never terror nor surprise came across it even when she was sent flying away from the swing. Her expression was the same as it would be if she were fighting in her Eva, a calculating face where she accepted what was about to happen and tried to minimize the painful effect. Once again, as if it were a motif, Rei and Shinji were entangled with each other. Rei looked down at the young boy who tried his hardest not to look into her eyes, sitting up she slowly moved off him and sat nearby, nursing her bleeding knee.

There was an awkward silence, both because Shinji was in the sandbox and had just seen up Rei's skirt, and because the young girl's knee was painfully gushing blood, and her heart was painfully hurting because Shinji would not look at her. She began to realize that the young boy would never be hers.

Sitting upright, the Third Child looked at her knee and spoke,

"Yo…we should get that covered, to-to stop the bleeding."

Shinji stood and brushed himself off, his back elbow cut slightly and began to walk, Rei stood up behind him and tried to follow, but the moment she stepped on her bad knee she let out a little moan of pain.

Shinji looked back at her with a worried look on his face, from her badly hurt knee, to her face, with was full of pain, her eyes just beginning to water. Shinji's insides twisted inside at the idea he just had.

It was almost movie-like. The sun was setting behind the two as Shinji carried Rei who's hands she lay gently on her lap, in his arms toward their home. The young boy was not entirely strong enough to carry the 94 pound girl the almost two mile distance, but his fear, the fact that the most beautiful girl he had ever seen was gently bouncing against him with every step dulled out the aches his tired arms threw at him. They walked in silence, yet both of them in a blissful paradise, Rei because of her definite love for the boy, and Shinji because of a mixture of his now ongoing crush and the feelings from his teenage lustfulness.

The two returned home in silence and Shinji gingerly lay Rei down to relax as he got some bandages and antiseptic. When he returned he said to her truthfully,

"This is going to burn alil Rei…"

He then poured a tiny bit of the liquid onto the wound, Rei did not moan or even flinch, she just looked on with what seemed an almost ignorance of the situation, it had to be done, and thusly is did not bother her. The excess rolled down to the underside of her knee and dripped onto their couch, neither of them carrying.

"Are…Are you okay?" Shinji said, painfully bringing himself to look her in the eyes, she stared straight back at him, it nearly killed the young boy, she was so beautiful, and he knew he too was beginning to have feelings.

Rei looked back at The Third Child, he stared at her with complete concern, and her stomach twisted pleasantly inside of her.

The two stared at each other for a moment, and Shinji's lips began to tingle, as if they were being drawn toward her, it was as though nothing else mattered than to kiss her, like he needed it like he needed the air or water, his body craved her. The only other time he had felt this feeling was that night with Asuka, but this time it was much more powerful. Without notice, Shinji began to slowly ease in on Rei, not exactly knowing what he was going to do, he just wanted his face closer to hers, he placed his hand on the couch beside her leg and moved closer…inches from her face Shinji was suddenly ripped away from his body's desires.

"I am fine."

Her red eyes glistened slightly as they were still locked onto him, and he sighed gently, pulling away, as he began to walk toward the kitchen to prepare dinner he barely heard Rei whisper out,

"Thank you."

And with a smile, he began to cook the meal.

Rei awoke suddenly, the blurriness of what was her room slowly came into view. Sitting up slightly she looked over to where the sunlight that had awoke her was coming from. That's when she noticed it, the sunlight wasn't coming from the window, but instead it was reflecting off her glass of water that sat next to her bed, beside her pills, on a cart. She whipped her head back and forth, she was no longer in Asuka's room, and she was now back, back in her old apartment.   
This is completely illogical, she thought to herself. Trying to get a grasp on the situation, Shinji had told her that this place had been destroyed, had he lied to her? And if so, why? And how had she returned to this place? None of this was scientifically impossible. Wait, if she was in a world of that lacked laws of reality, then she was dreaming. This was how Rei always distinguished reality from fantasy; she would simply pick apart that which just could not be true. Slightly disappointed that she was once again dreaming and to make things worse back in her old apartment she began to slide slightly off the bed, but when her feet were just about to touch the ground, she heard a crash.

"Nononoo….please God…no…." Shinji cried out, his voice cracking slightly, he stumbled back into her apartment, followed by a pistol-wielding Gendo Ikari. Stumbling over he back into the corner facing where Rei slept. Rei could not do anything but sit and stare, dream or not, seeing Shinji being killed was not something should take lightly.

"You're pathetic, coming here."

"You…you can't….you-you can't do this…please….ple-please father…"

Gendo placed the gun painfully at the tip of Shinji's skull and growled out in his usual tone,

"Do not remind me that you are my offspring. Rei had always been a much more suitable child than you. You are weak, pathetic, and a disgrace to your mother and myself. I'm just pleased that you are one mistake that I am able to extinguish."  
Shinji began to cry at the cruelness of his father; he continued to beg for his life, but no longer to his father but instead to his mother,

"Mother…please, p-please help me…I nee…need you…please…"

"Silence! She will not help you." Gendo nearly screamed, "Removing you from this bloodline will be the greatest thing to happen to this family."  
"IKARI!" Rei called out, both the Ikari's looked at her as though they had not realized she was there. Standing slowly she looked at Gendo with a clearly visible sense of hate, she did not glare or speak, she just stared at him, her eyes practically on fire.

Gendo almost smiled, "Excellent, now you too can witness the death…of Shinji Ikari."

"Stop." Rei said coolly, her voice was sharp as ice. Gendo's almost smile disappeared instantly; it was not to his knowledge that Rei had feelings for the Third Child. Rei walked over and sat down next to Shinji, he practically clutched out at her arm.

Rei didn't entirely understand what she was doing, it seemed in her dreams she had little or no control over herself, it was her emotions that did the talking.

"Regrettable as it is, I would rather kill both of you, then leave this wretch to survive." Gendo sneered, "And of course, I can always simply make more of you."

Rei's eyes widened as she could not believe what was about to happen, as Gendo pulled the trigger. A bullet ripped through Rei's chest, piercing her skin and making a disgusting sucking sound as it tore out her back. The two children looked at the whole in the First Child's chest, smoke billowed out of it, and Rei's arm slid backwards and her head hit the chilling floor with painful force. As the room once again became blurry she heard the only two men speak.

"Ho-how could you...what are-"

BANG

BANG

BANG

Thud.

Rei felt a body fall limply beside her and then the warm taste of blood began to enter her mouth. As Rei lie there gasping for breath, her body making gurgling sounds as she began to choke on Shinji's blood, she heard the gun cock once more.

BANG

"IKARI!" Rei screamed out, her voice pierced through the night, and sitting upright with amazing speed she nearly bumped head with a very worried looking Shinji Ikari.

"R-Rei…are…are you alright?" He mumbled out, shaking with fear.

She looked at him, and once again her emotions robbed her of restraint, her hand came up and gently touched the side of Shinji's face. He jumped slightly at this sign of affection.

He was alive, Rei thought, even as a dream his death tore her apart worse than anything in her life, and she had to touch him just to be positive he was real. He looked at her, his eyes wide, she did not know what to do or say, her hand quickly dropped from his face on her lap, and she and his, almost in tears, with an inquisitive look on her face: Why was he in her room?

"I...I heard you talking in your sleep, it sounded as though you were crying…why…Rei…wh-why…why did you call out my name?" He asked, looking back at her.

Rei looked away, her face still turned toward the boy but her eyes were off to the side, she could not respond. She was embarrassed.

A very unusually understanding Shinji smiled slightly and took her hand, Rei's eyes moved to look at them as his fingers intertwined themselves with hers. He was still shaking, and she could tell it was taking everything in him to touch her.

"I-it was just a dream Rei…it…dreams can't hurt you."  
"I know this fact." Rei replied, cutting him off slightly, she did not care what he was saying but more so the feeling she had with the simple touch of his hands.

"Ma-maybe…could…sho-should…would you like me to stay with you tonight Rei?"

Shinji asked, almost flinching as he waited for her response, if this were Asuka, she would have most likely mistaken his intentions and called him a pervert.

"Yes." She replied. Not wanting him to take away his hands.

"Okay!" He replied excitedly, "I'll just get my pillow and…" He stopped midsentence, Rei's hands still clutching his and he began to stand., the thoughts of Shinji's death still fresh in her mind she did not want him to go anyway. Shinji looked from her hands to her face and once again felt the almost compelling feeling to kiss her. Rei's eyes were meeting his perfectly, and for about five minutes all that could be heard was the heavy, nervous breathing of Shinij. They're eyes never moved away from each other, and finally Shinji's head could no longer hold itself back and slowly began to move in, Rei's lost body was doing the same, yet she did not know what for. The two both stopped mere millimeters from each other's faces, not really knowing what the other wanted to do. With Shinji's lip quivering, he moved quickly forward and pressed his lips gently against hers. They were almost wet and they cushioned his perfectly, her pouty lips making a slight noise he pulled away, and at the same time they both opened their eyes, and looked at each other, not really sure if what had happed really just happened. Shinji Ikari and Rei Ayanami had just kissed, for the very first time.


	6. Recollections of the Past

Recollections of the Past

_6:04_

The deep red color off the digital clock would have reflected on the two eyes that stared back at them if it had not been Rei's eyes that stared back at them. The reflection of the numbers disappeared into Rei's identically colored eyes.

With her chin gently resting on her pillow, and only the tops of her eyes showing, Rei was counting down the minutes until breakfast, and after a entire night wihout sleep, she was ready for the day to come.

It had been about two a.m. when it finally hit her, the young girl's well thought out decision…

Rei Ayanami _hated_ kissing.

The pleasure had not been worth the pain and the entire night had been horrible, after the two had kissed, they just stared at each other for a few moments, she remember Shinji's face, it wasn't that of pleasure but more of fear, was he scared of her? Deciding not to sleep together Shinji returned to his room, and Rei laid down to sleep, but with her emotions throwing her a different feeling every thirty seconds, she had to stay wide awake just to keep up:

Does Shinji feel the same way as she? what was that look of fear for? had he regretted it? what does this mean for them now? what was that feeling she got right when their lips touched? what was the feeling she got right when he left? what was going to happen now? did Shinji enjoy the kiss? did Rei truly enjoy the kiss?

These questions, and a millions others plagued the young girl's mind all night, and the final question before she decided to get up was the most simple.

Had Shinji too lack the ability to sleep after their late night kiss?

Snoring slightly, the last thing Shinji Ikari wanted to do was wake up. Before he fell asleep he knew that Rei would want to discuss what had happened the previous night. He did not entirely want to talk about it, not because he did not enjoy it, the Third Child _more_ than enjoyed it, but he did not want to have to look at her while he answered all of her 'new emotion' questions…nonono…Shinji Ikari was far to scared for that!

Locked in a deep embrace with sleep Shinji had not always been this way, in fact, the night before he was freaking out almost as bad as Rei. Wondering if he kissed her right, thinking he may have offended her, she had decided to not sleep with him after the kiss, but why? Had Shinji really messed up that bad this time? He was so nervous after he kissed her, did she notice that? The young boy was terrified, but after repeated thoughts of kissing Rei, Shinji did what every normal fourteen year old boy would do after kissing a beautiful girl and enjoying it, and after he relieved himself, he had quickly lost all his cares and worrisome thoughts and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

Though he slept well, something still plagued him…Shinji knew at some point he would have to wake up, and soon he would have to face Rei. At this subconscious thought he shuddered under his blankets and clutched them tightly between his fingers. Breakfast would come, and it would be coming soon.

Eat faster, eat faster. Shinji repeated to himself as he downed an entire egg in one bite, causing him to choke slightly. The faster he finished his meal, the faster he could lie his way out of being in Rei's presence.

Rei's meal on the other hand matched her thoughts…scrambled. She did not pick at her food yet looked at it as though it could give her all the answers, she was feeling something that was caused by the tense meal she was having with Shinji, it was much like the giddy feeling she had the previous night right before she kissed the brown haired boy, but this time it was much worse, like she had just eaten a large bowl of extremely spicy food, and it got spicier every time she opened her mouth to speak.

"Ikari?" Rei whispered, bringing her eyes up in her usual manner.

Mmm! Shinji bit his tongue, the fact that Rei called him by his last night struck an almost painful cord with him. After recovering, he shakily put his fork down and with a mouth full of food replied,

"Y-yesh Ayanami?"

The impersonal last name hit Rei painfully as well, just before answering Rei tittered with the thought of just letting it go, but her exhaustion caused by lack of sleep prevented her from acting on her emotional whims.

"What occurred last night after I entered your room?"

Shinji swallowed hard, he was about to ask what she meant, but after looking into her eyes with their usual bored expression on them, he replied.

"W-well..we…we um…you-know…well we kinda…I mean I-I…we um…we…k-kiss…kissed…"

That was the hardest sentence I've ever had to say in my entire life! Shinji thought to himself, beads of sweat beginning to cause his brow to glisten.

Rei looked back with her usual expressionless look, but on the inside was quite angry. She was not one who was used to be talked down to, and at that comment she felt Shinji was just trying to explain it to her in simple terms like she slow, and not dodge the question like he actually was.

"I am aware of that…" Rei snapped back, her voice as sharp as a razor blade, "I was, curious, on your thoughts about the situation."

That was it, Shinji thought, I'm skewered. Breathing heavily, Shinji's mind raced for a way to get out of this conversation, but with no one left in the world, he couldn't really hope for the cliché interruption. Where was a red head when you needed one? Shinji thought to himself, but then realizing that Rei was growing angrier by every passing second finally decided to bite the bullet and start explaining.

"Well…I mean…I uh…well I was just trying to cheer…I mean, I kinda think I…Rei…I-I mean Ayanami…it's just that…I uh…I-I…I like-ke…I like…you…"

As Shinji finished butchering every single Japanese Grammar book with his mess of a sentence, and shut his eyes tight, as thought he was about to be hit, just another reaction that living with Asuka caused him to have.

While Shinji clutched his eyes tight, Rei tried, very hard, to measure his reactions, but with her lack of knowledge and Shinji's odd behavior she just read into the kiss and his words, and plainly replied.

"I like you as well."

Shinji's eyes opened almost as fast as his jaw did, Rei Ayanami…liked him! For the first time in his life, a girl actually liked him! She had even let him kiss her! The most beautiful girl Shinji had every met was now very human, and liked him. To put it simply, Shinij was stunned.

"Wel—Blu—I—Uh…That's great Aya-Rei!"

Still understanding nothing about human emotions, Rei still thoughts Shinji's reaction to this was quite peculiar. Still, Rei Ayanami was in love, Shinji had always been the good side of the Commander, but magnified. He did not hide his weaknesses or his feelings, though he seemed weak and scared on the outside he had shown Rei his strong side, he had both compassion and strength, and for now, he was hers. Rei looked at Shinji as he kept speaking at his usual nervously quick pace and smiled. Shinji looked up and saw it, and for a moment, the entire world was silent.

Only a few more minutes. Rei thought to herself, her journal laying open on her lap, the number 11:47 was written neatly on the top of her page of 'Things to Do'. She had quit writing a long time ago and was now trying to accurately count down the seconds until a little under a quarter til midnight came. When it finally did, she gently placed her journal down, leaving the lock unlocked. Shinji had picked a diary that had a lock, but with Shinji's boyish fear of practically everything she owned, Rei did not think he would ever read it and found no reason to lock it. Standing up and turning around, she smiled and walked toward her destination.

Shinji looked down at his digital watch, five more minutes. It had been two weeks since the conversation Rei and Shinji had shared their 'feelings' and like clockwork they met up every night to do the same thing again: Reenact their first night. Smiling goofily Shinji looked out at the cityscape, he had began to notice something a few nights prior to this one, certain sections of the city began to turn on later, and some, not at all. Before the Third Child could really put his mind into it he heard the words he loved the most.

"Goodnight Shinji."

He turned and looked at her, Rei had changed so much in the near three months they had returned from Third Impact, expressing her wants and desires more than just her needs, she was slowly becoming less like an Eva and more like a teenage girl.

He walked forward as he did every night, with his usual nervousness, and they shared a goodnight kiss. Rei savoring and trying to memorize every feeling, physical and emotional, to not only dissect later, but also to try and revisualize it whenever she wanted. So far, because of the complexities of the flutter of emotions, she could not even come close to understanding what a simple touch of the lips caused her to feel inside, let alone grasp it enough to artificially render it. Shinji on the other hand was his usual nervous self, every time their lips grazed across each other his right hand opened and closed tightly, trying to expel all his fear and excess energy out of his clenched fist. Though the nervousness was painful, it was something Shinji was used to, and still treasured ever second he and Rei spent together, and as always, when she pulled away, he fell in love with the reflection of the moon off her eyes.

As Rei turned and walked toward her bedroom to rest, Shinji watched her go, and the butterflies in his stomach slowly disappeared. For another hour after Rei had left, his thoughts turned back toward the wasteland of a world in which he had created, and Shinji began to miss the butterflies.

"Attention."

Shinji sat straight up in his bed, his eyes wide and every ounce of sleep in his body instantly evaporated. Someone else was alive!

"Citizen's of Tokyo-3, may I please have your attention."

Rei lie on her side, her eyes slowly moved toward the source of the sound, she knew instantaneous who's voice this was, and she had not been looking forward to it.

"Because of complexities in the power system, NERV will be shutting down all electrical systems in every block of Tokyo-3 effective at 9:30 PM this evening. We apologize for any inconvenience." As the woman's cool voice silenced, the echoes of nearly every NERV-owned speaker radiated of the cities empty walls. The prerecorded voice of the MAGI had just finished telling the final two survivors on Earth, the worst possible news they could ever hear.

"So…so-what do we do Ayanami?" Shinji asked as he placed her meal in front of her, he looked at it sadly, this could be the last warm meal they would have in awhile.

"The MAGI systems do not control the electrical power sources created to flow energy to the city. That system was set up for NERV personal oversight. The MAGI system will need to be reset to control the power generators." Rei said before she ate as if reading from a control panel.

"Ho-how do you know that?" Shinji asked, thoroughly impressed.

Rei swallowed her bite of pancake that she had delicately cut into tiny pieces and looked at him expectantly, "Because it says so in your NERV emergency handbook."

Shinji looked down at Rei as she returned to her meal, his mouth agape. The only other time they had used their emergency handbook was when all power had gone out before and the three children had to crawl through the air ducks to get to their Eva's, Shinji was not looking forward to doing that again.

"So…we…what? Just go down to NERV and flip a switch?" Shinji asked dumbly.

Rei smiled inwardly at Shinji's lack of knowledge, she enjoyed being in control, but without showing any of her feelings just replied with a whisper,

"Negative. Because of SEELE's actions nearly all of the entrances to NERV have been destroyed or blocked by Bakelite. There is only one way that is sure to take us to the NERV core."

Shinji was worried, glancing toward the window he saw a large distinction between what _had_ been affect by Third Impact and what had not. It looked as though a large ice cream scoop had come down and just pulled up a piece of the central city, including Rei's previous living quarters, because of how the buildings that were not instantly annihilated seemed as though they were still in perfect order, sans the random cracked windows and small wind damage from the blast.

"How do you know that your way will get us there."

"Because…" Rei said, pausing slightly, she did not entirely want to reveal the reason, "The Commander created it especially for my personal use."

Shinji's eyes were as big as his mouth, and he looked away, for just a split second he felt jealousy toward the child which his father had chosen over him. Rei knew how he was feeling, not because she read Shinji's emotions, but because she had known about the relationship between Shinji and his father.   
In silence, and still with a bit of anger, the two set out through the wretched city, toward what may or may not be the remains of the greatest establishment ever…NERV.

Shinji glanced over lazily at one of the shops, a bright red car sat on a pedestal spinning around slowly, a quick thought of Misato's car, and how the two had first met flashed through his mind and he gripped the SDAT in his pocket a bit tighter. He wanted nothing more than to put his headphones on and escape his feelings, but he did not want to be rude to his tour guide Rei.

They were heading to the inner city, one of the Eva plug-in power ports that were scattered throughout the city streets had a secret door in which only Rei and the Commander had access to, it was five miles away and the young girl had been lost in her thoughts the last hour. Shinji was obviously angry, she did not need to have a degree in psychology to know this, all the men in the Ikari bloodline had a bad habit of retreating into their own minds and going silent after being angered. Rei had first realized this with Gendo, and the bad habit was now rearing its ugly head in Shinji as well. Rei looked around the ghost town to see if she could find something to dispel the Third Child's resentment toward her.

Shinji too was looking around to find something to take his mind of his present company. He was still very close to falling in love with Rei, but just the memories of his father and how he had always loved the blue haired angel much more than him stirred up a childish jealousy that would not seem to dissipate.

The city in which was once known as Tokyo-3 was now a mere shell of its former self. In all actuality it seemed more reminiscent of the underwater photos Shinji had seen of the original Tokyo that had been completely submerged after 2nd Impact in class. Nealy every window in the entire city had been shattered by the tornado that he had created when EVA-01 had awoken, not to mention the shock waves from the N2 mine that had exploded only a couple of miles away. The ground was cracked here and there and some of the weaker building foundations were cracked and sinking thanks to Asuka's wresting match with the MP EVAs. Thanks to the MAGI though, most of the city's major problems had been solved, the broken gas and water mains that threw up fire and water had each been shut off. Making the disgusting smell of smoke and sewage a thing of the past. The Twilight Zone-esque sight of piles of empty clothes was still something the two children had to put up with, and the shadows cast by the crucified MP Evas and the millions of crosses still blocked out the sun and added to the eerie silence of the dead town. There was really nothing pleasant to be said about the town, and so the two pilots walked in silence.

After another hour and a half of silence the two arrive at their destination. A large number 14 was painted on the street with a square shaped crack surrounding it, Rei looked at Shinji, then to the street, he nodded and paused. Walking up to the right corner, the First Child pulled out her NERV issued card, and slide it quickly in and out of the large crack like a hotel card, then took a few steps back as an neighborhood alarm went off and the street opened up slowly. The umbilical cord for the EVA's gently swayed in the afternoon breeze from it's large and menacing hooks. Bending down, she once again bent down and slid in her card, a false power supplier opened and the two entered.

Crawling down a long corridor Shinji once again felt the powerful feeling of claustrophobia, and with Rei walking in front of him, _and _wearing a miniskirt that was just a bit too small, was making this trip much more difficult. Rei turned multiple different directions, and right before Shinji asked if they were lost she dropped down on of the vents and right in front of a large gated elevator.

They began the 20 minute ride down.

"I…I am sorry Ikari." Much like Shinji, whenever Rei felt something was wrong, she went back to a less formal style of conversation.

Shinji looked over at her, he smiled with embarrassment, Rei was sad because Shinji was mad at her, and for whatever reason he was almost happy to see her sad like this…it proved she truly did have feelings for him and not just liked him out of pity as he had at first believed.

"No…I'm sorry Rei…it's just…when you mentioned father I…" He looked down.

"You miss him." Rei spoke softly, she knew all about Shinji crying himself to sleep every so often, she thought it was partially because of his father, and she couldn't be more right.

"I-I guess…but…that's just stupid of me…I have no reason to…" He glared at himself, clenching his fist.

"He is your father, you do not need a reason to miss him."

Shinji looked up at Rei's sage like statement and smiled, looking into her eyes which were already boring into him, he smiled. "Thank you Rei."

Rei did not respond, instead she took the initiative and let her emotions control her, and took his hand into hers, and in her mind said 'I love you'.

"Now what!" Shinji called up from Maya Ibuki's old computer, the only node in the entire MAGI network that wasn't bullet ridden.

Lucky for the two, both Maya and the Commander were still logged into their machines, and access to the entire city, NERV, and the MAGI defense, offence, and information sectors were under their control.

"There is a laptop under Ibuki's desk, use it to plug into the MAGI." Rei called down, her whisper voice slightly echoing off the walls.

Shinji did as he was told and Rei sent down a wireless signal to the laptop and began downloading the emergency power overwrite grid. This would cause only certain parts of the city to power up at a time, thus saving energy and giving the city's power generators time to replenish their losses. Rei began typing all this in while Shinji walked over and picked up one of the empty clips beside a pile of clothes.

After a half hour the system was redirected and ready to go, Shinji had fallen asleep listening to his SDAT while waiting and Rei didn't want to wake him. So she decided to look around the system more to see if there was anything more than needed to be updated or worked on for their survival. After a few moments she stumbled across a file reading, 'Ayanami-05' and with a trembling hand, opened it.

Yo-Yo Ma was just wrapping up a cello piece when Rei awoke Shinji, her face gently whiter than usual as the two left. Still half asleep the oblivious Shinji didn't even notice Rei's rather unusual behavior as they continued their walk back to the house, nor did he even notice that she went straight to bed without dinner, or a kiss. What Shinji did notice was what Rei had done to the power system, and when the night came the only two buildings that lit up were his, and Shinji's favorite place: The park. It was instantly clear to the young brown haired boy, he was in love, with Rei Ayanami.


	7. His Decision, Her Decision

I would first like to apologize for some of the past chapters. They escaped from me and found their ways onto the Internet before I could double check spelling and grammar. I will also be increasing the speed at which they are released. Secondly, I tried to answer some of the reader's questions. Thank you Narsil750 and Iron Duke for pointing out a number of of the little bugs and errors in the plot, I hope this chapter clears them up. Thank you kindly for your comments; they are truly what keep me going. That and that fact that this remake is nothing more than an onramp for its own sequel. I live, I breathe, I sync, and I die. Which will be released after the end of this story, but don't worry, this one's is just hitting the halfway mark. I hope you enjoy,

Kristopher

His Decision,

Her Decision

I'm not my father. Shinji thought to himself sadly, his eyes watery and his mall 'purchased' new advanced SDAT playing at full blast. That's why we're no longer together. We should have never gone to NERV! I should have never gotten jealous of her and my father, Shinji continued to think to himself. It was not my intention, it's just the only time I truly felt good is when he congratulated me on my kill of the Angel, I loved getting his attention and his praise, and Rei got it without even trying. That was why Shinji was really jealous, and perhaps why he slightly missed his father…he missed the praise. Hearing 'good job' from Misato didn't make him feel good, even though she loved him like a son, why did it feel so good for a man who treated him like shit to congratulate him? He hated his father, and yet, still strived for his acceptance…Shinji was indeed only fourteen, he didn't truly understand his reasoning for _all_ his actions, he just followed what he believed to be true. And the hate/affection feelings he had toward his father were just another immature emotion he wanted to grow out of. But now he had Rei! She was amazing…well he did have Rei, and after she was on _his_ computer and it must have reminded her of how much she loved her Commander. The young boy reached up and felt his cheek, the same place where Rei had slapped him all those months ago, when they had just met, and when he had spoken ill of his father. His let his eyes and head fall to the side as he lay on his bed, he was again tired and it became increasingly hard to keep his eyes open, but when they finally shut, sleep did not come, only more thoughts about his newly beloved Rei. His mind was tearing itself into pieces trying to figure out how he could fix this problem, the rift that had formed between the two in the past week that had passed since they had traveled to NERV to regain the power of the city. At the brink of sleep is when he felt it, the apartment shook slight, reverberating back and forth like a cell phone on vibrate. Just another one of Tokyo-3's explosions, the ones that had plagued the city and the two teens for quite some time, lack of daily human routine caused some of the regular systems to malfunction and in the more extreme cases, explode. Throwing his fists down at his lost chance to finally get some rest, Shinji tried to remember exactly what had happened.

Rei had not spoken the next morning after the NERV trip. Shinji didn't happen to notice this because he was entirely too involved with his one man conversation, telling Rei how great she was for fixing their power problems and thanking her for lighting up the park even though he knew she didn't particularly care for. He continued his own perpetual conversation without any input from Rei, bragging how he spent all night figuring out the laptop they had brought back. Rei had told Shinji to grab it right when they left, if they ever needed power in a certain district, the wireless ability of the small silver laptop could instantly bring said section to life. Shinji had took it out on the deck with him and tried playing with it, and though it was definitely no EVA, by the end of the night he was able to flip lights throughout any part of the city, on or off and was thoroughly enjoying creating his own light show.

Rei on the other side of the conversation didn't even look at Shinji, she just quietly finished her meal and in mid-conversation she left and entered her room. Perplexed by this Shinji followed her and was about to enter when his fear of all things female took over and caused him to mind his own business. That night at dinner, (Rei had skipped lunch) Shinji once again tried to pull a conversation out of his hat, but after a few minutes of forced conversation, he gave up and let her be in peace. And that's how it went, the entire apartment, even, it seemed, the entire world had gone quiet since Rei had stopped talking, and Shinji spent all his time trying to figure out what he had done wrong, because naturally, in his eyes, it was definitely without a doubt, all his fault.

Rei had actually spoken once in the four days of horrible silence. It had been at the exact moment the painful thought of losing Rei had slipped from Shinji's mind, and he lie on his back in the living room listening to his SDAT, pondering why he still lived in their 3 bedroom, beer soaked apartment, when they could live anywhere, even the huge house that had 46 bedrooms and took up nearly an entire city block in downtown Tokyo-3. The pool by itself was as large as his entire apartment complex, maybe if they moved there Rei would… A shadow cast itself over Shinji's closed eyes, he opened them and looked up, as his eyes adjusted he saw the outline of Rei's face looking down at him, because she was standing right in front of the sun, he could not see her face, just the blues of her hair, and the pasty whites of her skin, and a single long eyelash on each side of her face. Even without her face she was beautiful. Shinji quickly yanked the earplugs out and looked at her.

Without moving, without even seeming to breath, she whispered out,

"What was your mother's middle name?"

"Wha-what?" Shinji asked, surprised at both Rei's lack of knowledge and the question, after two days of silence, this actually almost frightened him.

Rei did not respond, instead she blinked and waited patiently for Shinji to gather himself.

"Uh-um…well…her name…it-it was…Lily."

American? Rei thought, remembering in her studies that it was the name of a flower. Her perplexed look caused Shinji the need to reiterate.

"Well…no-not really. She did not have a middle name, like you and me…but…I once heard father call her Yui Lily Ikari…I think…I think he gave her that nickname when I was young."

Rei nodded, accepting this, and turned to go, when Shinji called out and asked her why she wanted to know.

"Curiosity." Was her answer, and her becomingly cliché act of throwing him an emotionless gaze and walking away. Shinji walked her go, but with a mouth full of cotton could not call after her. He did the only thing he knew how, and putting his headphones back on he cursed himself for his cowardice.

This is what life had become. Walking now, alone, through the grocery store Shinji picked up random items and placed them in his basket, too at war with his mind to really concentrate on what he was purchasing. Ramen, fruit, meat, drinks, cheese, bad eggs, and bad milk, all went the same into the cart that jingled as it shook from its one loose wheel. Shinji had just fallen deeply in love with his blue haired Angel and now what happened. He missed her so, even though she was only in the other room it felt as though she was a million mils away, and Shinji did nothing, but claw at his mind that begged the question: What is wrong with Rei?

YUI

_Access Denied._

IKARI

_Access Denied._

THIRD IMPACT

_Access Denied._

UNIT-01

_Access Denied._

Rei took her hand from the keyboard and placed it under her chin, and letting her armrest on Asuka's desk while she stared at the small 12" Apple laptop. It had been 2 days since the incident at NERV, and the file AYA NAMI-05 was tearing her insides apart. She hated that number more than anything, because it meant one thing:

There were more Reis.

Sitting at the Commander's terminal a few days prior, trying to reconfigure the power system, Rei looked lovingly down Shinji who was playing with an empty clip, trying to see how far he could throw it up and still catch it. Seeing this, Rei had an idea, and rewrote the programming so at night not just their apartment would light up, this would please Shinji, and Rei had long since let her emotions dictate on all decisions that involved the young boy. Smiling inwardly she rewrote the program, and after about 15 minutes she glanced down to see a now asleep Shinji laying back on Ibuki's bullet ridden chair, he moved uncomfortable and tried to lie on his side, two bullet head fell from the cushion he sat on and hit the ground like ice falling from a tree, with his headphones on Shinji didn't even notice. Rei did not want to wake him and decided instead to look over her program again once more for errors. Unfortunately, because she was in the Commander's chair, and it was full access, a reminder icon popped up and said:

_Check AYAN AMI-05 for biometric stability, overdue by 68 days. Level Approaching Code Red._

Double clicking the program, a box popped up and patiently waited for her to enter a password, neither words nor hints were visible, and the only words that ever appeared were:

_Incorrect Password, Access Denied._

Quietly the curiosity of what this program contained ate away at Rei's mind, causing her to enter nearly 30 passwords before giving up and waking Shinji for the long trip home. Shutting herself in her room, this is where Rei has stayed for the past few days. Her mind was a torrent of information, questions, and thoughts. Closing her eyes and lying back on Asuka's bed, she forced every ounce of emotion from her mind, it would be locked away until this decision was solved, she must become her past self to solve this dilemma, because if not, she was still just a clone, and not worthy of Shinji. And Rei just couldn't take that. She was also becoming quite accustomed to being real, and she wasn't going to let the man who stole her freedom for her in the past life take that feeling away from her, even from the grave.

I am no longer myself. Then who am I? Have a just been given pseudo emotions like what the Angel had given me before. No, that is incorrect; the only emotion I received from the Angel was loneliness. What I have now is real, but the Commander had created more of me, more 'husks' that must have escaped Dr. Akagi's plan. I am Rei, but also, Rei-05 is Rei, and I cannot be me without the destruction of me. I must learn more of this Ayanami-05. When I was false, before the coming of Third Impact, I was the third one. Therefore there must also be an Ayanami-04 who is not real. I must destroy them both, or the only emotion they will ever feel is loneliness that is from the echoes of my third self. That is not something I want...No. I do not desire that, her death is simply a necessity.

Rei was herself again, her previous self. Analytical, cold, uncaring to nothing but the task at hand. Sitting up she mapped out in her mind the method of her soon to be mayhem. She would spend all the time it took to unlock the program, find out all there was to know about Ayananmi-05 and the possible Ayanami-04. Then Rei would have to travel to NERV, and destroy her other selves. That would assure that Rei was once again Rei and she could actually be whole again, and be, and deserve Shinji, and embrace her newfound soul.

Sitting down in front of the laptop that she had to seize from Shinji's playful hands the young girl looked around her little Japanese room, the paper walls let in just enough light for her to see the keyboard, Asuka's clothes were long since gone, but with Shinji and her not talking, the room was becoming very reminiscent of her old apartment, her dirty clothes and clean ones were scattered everywhere as were the empty plates of her previous meal. Opening the tiny laptop, she remotely accessed the Commander's desktop, and because this was a secure line, it was just as if she were sitting at his desk with a little lag in response time. Double clicking the reminder once more, the white frosted glass looking box opened, with only a space to type the password in and a glowing silver button to accept. Rei was ready, and began to work.

Three days later, a very tired, and very annoyed Rei laid on her back, glaring at the little ceiling, begging it to tell her the Commander's password. She had put in thousands of passwords, 4,326 passwords to be precise, and all of them had failed. Every ounce of Ikari history she could remember, and everything she knew about all previous projects and NERV in general was entered and each and every time, she had failed. She had even went as far as to force herself to talk to Shinji again, a person which she believed she was inferior to and undeserving to speak with, to ask him what his mother's middle name was, it was a good try, but again, it had failed. She had hurt him when she spoke with him as her analytical self, her cold mechanical demeanor scared the boy, but it was for his own good, Rei could not kiss, touch, or speak with him until she was sure that there were no others like herself, that she was once again Rei, because away from everything else, being Rei Ayanami was all she had.

Believing she was going about this all wrong she thought about the Commander and realized that she was thinking as though he would actually type his emotions out, but the Commander was like what Rei used to be, thusly she simply had to think what she would have used for a password, and continued.

The next day, after another few hundred failed passwords, because she was on a secure line, the computer never locked her out, it simply told her that access was denied and began waiting for her next try, Rei was at her wits end. She fell back, once again onto Asuka's bed, and ignored her rumbling stomach and her eyelids that were like two barbells because of the lack of any sleep whatsoever in the last 4 days. She let her head fall to one side and as her eyes closed she saw, with blurred vision, a thick red book. Stretching slightly, she glanced back at the book, it was a German-Japanese dictionary, when Rei's sleepless brain finally thought about this, she sat straight up, grabbing the book and going back to work.

The dictionary wasn't doing a very good job, the problem with Kaji, Rei thought, is that there were 10 different ways to say everything, and it wasn't until the fifth and final day that she closed in on the password.

_Patience._

She entered.

_Incorrect password. Access denied._

Another version.

_Patience._

_Incorrect password. Access denied._

Rei didn't sigh, didn't get frustrated, she simply entered the third and final password.

_Patience._

It's third form was accepted, the box disappeared, and at first Rei didn't know what happened, she just looked back to the dictionary and looked for the next word until she heard,

"Welcome Commander, please memorize the following password for your next visit."

_HeavenIsEmpty_

Windows began opening up at an alarming speed, five video windows, all in real time aligned themselves down the right side of the screen, each with their own heart monitors and readily available statistical application. On the left side audio features popped up, security cams, and password changing programs to every security door from where Rei sat to Central Dogma. Instantaneous phone connections could be established to anywhere in the world, 'hot lines' to all the other NERV factions in Germany, the US, and China, and the Japanese government. This was the Commander's little secret. He could override any system protocol he wished, issue commands to any area in the city, the world, send out EVAs , reprogram them to specific children, even insert the Rei/Kawrou plugs, in all actually, if the Commander would have turned his terminal over to Dr. Akagi, she could have hacked into the MP EVAs. The world was under Gendo Ikari's control, and once again Rei was surprised at the lengths of his reach into the world.

Shinji Ikari was a man without an island. Returning from the grocery store, he put everything away and began to prepare dinner. It was pointless to really put all his culinary skills into his meals because Rei didn't even eat with him anymore. But that did not matter, he was still in love with her, and wanted to impress her in any way he could.

Slinking slowly back into his mind, Shinji began to cook.

There she was.

Rei-04 stared smiling gently up at the camera which was pinpointed at her glass cage. There were two separate glass tubes, just long enough for people trapped inside, but not quite wide enough for them to move around. The false Rei touched the glass slightly, and Rei felt almost as though she had touched her. The true Rei's hand cringed, digging her perfect little fingernails into the desk as she tried to hold back the flow of emotion that was weighing down on her so heavily she could hardly keep her eyes on the screen, it was as though they burned like fire every time the two girls' eyes met.

Seeing herself trapped in the cage Rei felt as though she was going to vomit, this was too much for her to take. She knew fully well that she was one of many, that before Third Impact if this husk died, another would simply take her place, yet she had never actually seen the bodies and truly tried to hide all this information from her mind, keeping the harsh reality in the most unused recesses of her mind. Now though, she could not do this, _it_ was staring right back at her, grinning with a glow of unidentifiable happiness. With nothing but a body, and empty mind, Rei-04 was perpetually happy, curly her lips upright gave her a feeling. Not pleasure, but a numbness, and with the only other feeling being the loneliness that her third self left behind, the husk of a girl chose to dumbly smile at everything she saw.

Rei swallowed hard, it seemed as though her throat had become only a quarter inch thick, and it hurt just to swallow. Her mouth then became dry, and her stomach lurched inside, not understanding, but wanting the get rid of what ever was causing this sickness. Rei swallowed again, this time is was vomit. The glow of the computer screen bounced of the subtle changes in her face and her eyes looked off to the side slightly, she could not bear to look at her false self again. She clicked the mouse to minimize two of the four images that held her previous self, and looked back toward the screen. Even though the picture was gone, she still knew the girl was smiling.

"Misato" Shinji whimpered out as he pulled some milk from the refrigerator, looking sadly at one of the cases of beer. Shinji once again wished he had someone to talk to, anyone…about his feelings for and the current situation with Rei. He wanted someone to talk to, or run away, or leave, or die, or something to get this horrible feeling out of his head! He missed Rei more than anything in his entire life.

The brown haired boy put some carrots on the cutting board and began to slice. He had been trying to create any meal that he thought Rei, being a vegetarian would enjoy, but so far, every attempt at this had failed, she would simply come out at the appropriate time and take her plate without a smile or 'Thank you' and return to her room. Shinji had become actually waiting for this moment every day, looking forward to just a glimpse of his love, it was sad, yes, but so was Shinji.

Looking at the clock on the desktop, Rei was relieved that dinner would be in 15 minutes, she was starving. The thought of seeing Shinji was a plus too, although she knew because of his previous reactions to there being multiple versions of her that she could not talk to him.

Looking around the rest of the secret files that she had complete level 6 access to, Rei's stomach began to calm down slightly. Many of the files where simply statistical values, operation manuals, past reports, and other past projects that did not matter anymore. Rei was actually growing slightly bored when she realized something: The woman in the other tube was alive! She was moving gently because of the bubbles that were released every few moments to keep the liquid from becoming stagnant, and she just blinked. Not smiling, the woman didn't even seem to realize that she was alive. This was understandable, as she was not a Rei and did not have anyone to preprogram her with memories. There was still something strange about this 30-ish year old brown haired woman. It was her mouth, it was very similar. The lips especially reminded her of someone…but whom? Rei subconsciously put her finger over her lip to think, and realized…it was hers! This woman's facial features were almost identical to her own. The lips, face, eyes, minus the color, and jaw were almost duplicate to her own, double clicking the image to bring it full screen she watched the 'dead' nude woman float gently and studied her. There was something written on the bottom of the tube, where the glass met the metal sealant, inscribed in white lettering, but the image was blurry. Rei shank the window and began looking for files entailing any details of this mystery woman. Unfortunately every scrap of information that even was remotely related to the brunette was of no help. About to give up, Rei tried the onboard help system,

"Welcome to the MAGI/NERV assistance manager, how may I help you?"

A female voice asked, the same the had always been the alarm system for NERV and the same that reminded her of the password change. A small clear box opened up for Rei to type in her question, it blurred everything behind it to set itself apart.

_Information regarding Rei Ayanami._

A plethora of information appeared in front of her, pictures, audio, video, surveillance reports, Rei's entire lives summed up in one large document, from her first steps to her last sync ratio, everything was there. She read about how Dr. Akagi hacked into the MAGI using her mother's programming skills and destroyed the other husks, fortunately, one more was kept separate in such an occasion in which the others where destroyed, one way or another. That is where Rei-04 came from. She was not special or different, just the next in line. For some reason the real Rei felt better by this information.

_Information regarding Aya Nami-05_.

**AYAN AMI-05 otherwise known as the Ikari-b project. **

Almost shaking with fear and anticipation, Rei read on.

_Yui Ikari, absorbed into EVA-01 was almost fully cloned. Parts of her DNA surviving from the pieces of clothing left behind gave NERV the ability to fully clone her, unfortunately because of the death of Dr. Akagi (senior) the ability to restore memories and life to the clone was lost. The creature known as AYAN AMI-05 was given this name because memories from the fragment clone Rei Ayanami were given to Ikari-b, thus giving her a suspended life (The ability to breathe, blink, react to sudden movements, etcetera). Although this was a vast accomplishment, the body of Ikari-b, without having more or the original Yui Ikari's DNA, this is as close to human as possible. Ikari-b has been in suspended animation for 15 years and 96 days. Because of age manipulation, she is frozen at the age of 36. She was scheduled for destruction on March 21, 2015. Gendo Ikari moved her to the 'hidden' floor of the NERV center, and all files pertaining Ikari-b were destroyed. To the personnel of NERV, Ikari-b never existed._

Rei finished, visibly shaking, then glancing back at the glass container, she quickly turned to her side, and threw up.

Shinji served the food onto both plates and laid them on the table. Sitting quiet down he soon remembered he'd forgotten the orange juice, something Rei loved, and as he turned around to put it on the table Rei came bursting out of her room. Her eyes were bloodshot red, and her cheeks were pink, tears streaming down her face she threw both of her arms around Shinji and began to sob. Dropping the glass of orange juice that shattered at their feet, soaking into both of their socks Shinji clutched Rei close, noticing the stench of vomit emitting from her mouth, not to mention the speckles of it on her shirt, Shinji didn't even care, and with not really knowing what to do or say as she sobbed, he had not been ready for this.

"Wh…what-what's wr-wrong Rei?" He asked, trying to seem calm, even though her tears were tearing him up inside.

Rei had broken down when she saw the clone of Shinji's mother, she lost all of her senses, and became a complete emotional wreck, and the only thing that came to her mind was Shinji, and how hurt he would be. Not even really feeling as though she was inside of her head, she watched distantly as her emotions forced her way into Shinji's arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Y-you…your…your father…" She muttered out between sobs, the analytical Rei hated to see herself like this, she wasn't even making sense, but the emotions overrode any sort of logical speech, and ripped at her insides like knives.

Hearing the word 'father', Shinji's hands both became tight fists. He hated him with all his heart, but the question that begged more than any question before it nagged at him:  
What had Gendo Ikari done?


	8. No Need For Rei Ayanami

No Need for Rei Ayanami

To put it lightly, it stunk. The reeking stench of the rotting skeleton radiate for miles, it had become so foul that even starving beasts that used to gnaw on the remnants of its flesh had even been warded off. Now all that was left was a few hundred flies that feasted on the bounty of this dead creature remained, the mixture of blood, bone, and metal all formed together to emit a putrid odor that only insects could find appetizing. The remains of EVA Unit-02 lay in pieces scattered over Rei's destination, a mile below this once god-like creature slept the body of a false Rei, and a abomination conceived only from Gendo Ikari's mind: The deadened mind of his cloned wife.

Rei Ayanami lay in Shinji's bed, the sweet smell of his condition that lay stamped on his pillow almost made up for the fact that he was keeping the young girl awake with his gentle snoring. The two had decided to sleep together under unconventional means, at first the thought of 'spooning' with Rei enticed Shinji's senses, but while clamoring into bed he noticed in the dim light of the moon that her eyes were still puffy, and her cheeks slightly red he could only think of her well being and not of his teenage lust. After her confession of the source of her misery, a one Gendo Ikari, Rei had once again gone silent, and Shinji renewed in his affection for the girl by her tears, wanted to give her all the time she needed to feel better.

Rei breathed in deeply the scent of the young boy's hair, she was letting her emotions take hold and the hate she had for both Rei-04 and Gendo Ikari seemed to almost heat up her body, a small fire of hate had been burning inside the First Child for a very long time, up until recently she had seen no purpose for anger but after being given emotions and seeing the horrible acts that Gendo was capable of, she was quickly defining the word 'hate'.

Knowing she should sleep for the day that was coming Rei closed her eyes and once again tried to push everything from her mind. But after another half hour of nothingness she wondered if she had simply _forgotten_ how to fall asleep, not sleeping in the past 2 days trying to figure out the password might have caused the body to lose the ability of sleep. Worrying slightly she turned to face Shinji, and upon seeing his gentle face Rei felt her eyelids grow heavy and she began to create a story that only entailed her and her love.

Smiling, she was back in her EVA, the entire cockpit was on fire, the very liquid that surrounded her, her only means of survival was practically boiling! The looked back and forth, a smile still shone though on her lips as her melted EVA shook slightly as something outside caused the ground to vibrate. A few footsteps pattered outside, then Rei was blinded by her ejection plug door being pried open, the silent hiss of her hero's hands burning on the red hot metal echoed throughout her downed machine. Shinji burst in, his eyes full of tears, begging the young girl never to say 'goodbye' at the beginning of a mission, then asking her to smile. Doing as she was commanded Rei smiled, even outside of her dream, the young girl was smiling.

Rei's peaceful dream did not last long, awaking only six hours later, the digital clock bled 5 AM and sadly, the young girl knew she would have to leave before Shinji awoke, this was something his psyche simply could not take. This was also something Rei knew she had to do on her own, something that needed to be finished by her hands…why? Because it was her body, her mind, her heart, her DNA…but not her soul. It was an abomination, they both were, and had to be destroyed.

Slipping as quietly as she could out of the heavenly warm bed Rei entered the cold empty morning air, and walked toward the door. The only light in the room was that of the clock, which reflected of Shinji's face, the early morning sun had not yet peaked over the high mountaintops of Tokyo-3 and for a moment, Rei thought to herself poetically, she was leaving the light, the warm, and entering the dark and cold world of something which simply had to be done. Giving in one last time to her emotions, her heart, the only part of her she believed _not_ to be synthetic, she returned to the warmth, and gently kissed him on his forehead. He murmured in his sleep and shifted his position, muttering the word,

"Mother." And all the light and warmth Rei had felt disappeared.

The last sound heard was the squeaking of an open door, and Rei's footsteps across the hall.

Rei noticed an odd odor in the air, a slight stench that made her tiny nose crinkle in displeasure, the 8 metric tons of rotting EVA flesh that lay 5 miles away cast a stench throughout her tiny Adam and Eve world. The young girl continued to walk, the laptop encased in a small khaki mailman bag that was slung over her shoulder. A long-sleeved deep red undershirt balanced the dirty blue punk color of her ripped over shirt that had Japanese punk rocker words inscribed all over it. Her ripped dusty jeans let a bit too much brisk morning air onto her legs, and Rei shivered slightly in discomfort. After a few moments she could no longer stand the silence and in a very Dr. Akagi manner opened the laptop and began typing with one hand, letting the other hand gently to its side. After a few moments she found what she was looking for, and hit play.

"Information journal direct for the Ikari-B project. The necessity for a purer sample is greatly desired, but thanks to the hand in hand complementation of Dr. Akagi and the newly developed MAGI system, a body is theoretically possible…"

Rei knew all this; she clicked the mouse a few times and skipped forward.

"The final compiling of the Ikari-B's mind took, 2 minutes and 34 seconds. The average time taken to compile a full human mind is 49 days, 2 hours, 34 minutes and 15 seconds. This speed confirms what has been expected. The lack of a 'soul' as senior director Dr. Akagi puts it, prevents the creature from having memories, feelings, normal reading brain waves, or even simple breathing abilities. The first being only lasted 3 minutes and 45 seconds before a lack of a heartbeat, brain waves, or breathing abilities ceased the creature's life."

Rei stopped, she once again could not believe her ears, and the Ikari-B project had been similar to that of the EVAs? How many had failed, how many creatures died before the final copy was given the ability to live. Rei paused the laptop and looked around, a nearby bistro sat nearby and Rei walked over to one of the outdoor tables, gently pushing the long since dried empty closes of the deceased onto the floor, Rei sat down and ran a new program, one that would allow her to pick and choose the answers she would receive, the questions she wanted to ask.

A half asleep Shinji Ikari rolled over, subconsciously flipping his drool stained pillow over to a dryer side, the young boy rolled over onto the cold end of the bed where Rei once slept. Muttering an apology to Rei's former space, Shinji rolled back onto his side, and returned to his pleasant dream.

With a shaky voice Rei asked the question she did not truly want to know the answer to,  
"How many versions of the experiment Ikari-B were there?"  
"231." The emotionless female voice from the computer spoke; her voice seemed to echo from every part of the empty city, every wall, glass, car, tree, and even air particle, being disgusted by the number. Would the Commander stop at nothing to get his wife back? Rei once again felt the taste of vomit in her throat, but knew there were more questions to be answered.

"How is the final Ikari-B able to sustain life?"

The computer spun for a moment, the little bottlenecked clock flip over and over until an answer came.  
"Through fragment memories of the creature named Rei Ayanami."

Rei was still confused,

"Explain."

"The same technology used to create the 'empty' plug for the Evangelion Units. The technology that gives the Commander the power to grant any EVA the ability to override it's pilot's commands and go into a more 'machine' mode is used in…"  
Rei shuddered remembering Shinji's screams after nearly killing his best friend inside an EVA that had been taken over by an Angel; the merciless REI false entry plug took over the EVA and destroyed the Angel/EVA without second thought, ripping it to pieces. The coldness of the air shook Rei once more and she continued to listen,

"Thanks to Dr. Akagi (junior), the program to map out Rei Ayanami's brain patterns were a success, and the primal abilities that sustain a normal creatures life were implemented in the 231st version of Ikari-B. Thus, she was giving a perpetual life. Because of the atmosphere in which the creature is sustained, birth to approximate age 36 only took 14 days, and now the creature is frozen at that exact age."

Rei shook her head. If all the Commander needed was a soul for this lifeless creature why didn't he just give it the soul that Rei had held?

"Why was the soul of Rei Ayanami given to the Ikari-B project?"

"The soul was only a fragment, not truly alive or dead. Identification on circumstances of this matter are a near mathematical equation and the ability to register and map a soul or for the system to even begin to understand the soul would be near impossible. The probability for all MAGI working together to map out a human soul before time of the human extinction is .00000000000000000000012. A number that could not be tolerated by the Commander. Dr. Akagi (Senior) theorized that with only half of the soul, the creature would not be given memories, feelings, emotions, or true life; she would be nothing more than a bio-android. This would not be permitted by the Commander, thus Rei Ayanami was born, another tool in which to permit Gendo Ikari access to the former Yui Ikari if the other fragment of the soul could not be recovered."

"And if the other half of the soul was recovered?" Rei asked, worrying slightly about what never came.

"The creature and all other versions of it would be immediately destroyed, Rei Ayanami would cease to be, and because this creature is _less_ than human, there would be no complications involving murder. The girl known as Rei Ayanami is merely a tool. Nothing more."

In a fit of anger Rei slammed the laptops screen down, nearly shattering it, and continued on her path toward NERV headquarters, she would bring down the entire God damn building if she had to. Her emotions were on fire, and for the first time, they were working with her analytical mind, she was no longer the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that had been for so long breaking her mind into two separate entities, for the first time in the 14 years of substantial life, Rei Ayanami was thinking like a perfect human.

Shinji would have loved to sleep until nine, ten, or even as far as noon. He had actually flipped his alarm clock off for just that reason, awaking lazily, and rolling over to see a dosing beautiful blue haired girl would have definitely started his day off on the right foot. Unfortunately at just before seven AM, as said blue haired girl was letting herself into the umbilical cable entrance to NERV, Shinji stomach began to rumble and he painfully rolled out of bed. Not eating anything since lunch, the two had skipped dinner and had practically gone straight to bed. Now, still dead from exhaustion the young boy stumbled barely conscious into the kitchen and threw in two pieces of toast, as his toes cringed on the cool linoleum floor, Shinji pulled out the butter and knife and patiently waited for the toaster to eject his meal. It's colder than usual in here, Shinji's mind thought suddenly, it felt as though a thick fog was cluttering up his thoughts, a fog that was usually caused by sleep, but this cool air was penetrating it, and causing it to shift and begin to deteriorate. The buttered cooked bread tasted like heaven as Shinji's stomach lurched, begging for more, after the young boy was halfway through his second piece he felt a cool air blow in from his left side, glaring angrily at its point of origin the brunette's mind awoke a bit more at the sight of an open door. Walking toward it, a piece of paper blew gently past his line of sight, reaching for it and missing the young boy reached down and plucked it up. A few moments later, the toast fell from his mouth and once again a child ran through the outside door, leaving only the padding of footsteps behind. The tiny little piece of paper fell on top of itself, and only Rei's perfect signature shone through.

_Clang_!

The access elevator hit it's destination of the lower level, Rei walked down the main hall toward where the laptop had told her to go glancing around as an explosion above caused the entire hallway to reverberate, and the lights to flicker.

Walking toward room 1129 Rei glanced up at its description: _Emergency Nurse Station_. She swiped her card key in and the lock dropped, releasing the door, and Rei walked in. Glancing around everything appeared as though it was an actual Nurse's Quarters, but that was the motif about NERV: nothing was ever as it seemed. Glancing around broadly the young girl found what she was looking for, a heart monitor with a NERV seal on it, to the normal eye this would have meant nothing, but the small red leaf had always represented something different. Kind of like an alert stamp that only people of certain stature knew about. Hitting the light Rei would have smiled inwardly if she still weren't so damn pissed off as she saw what looked like an input keyboard and entered the word

_Patience._

Then stood back to wait patiently. She waited, and waited, then groaning slightly with great frustration she remember the new password:  
_HeavenIsEmpty._

**Beep Beep**.

The machine sprang to life and what had been a heart monitor's screen changed to that of a computer, and after a door opened she once again was told to memorize the password. Ignoring it, she walked through the door and into another large service elevator. Surprised that the elevator was not plush and well kempt like the many of the Commander's other possessions, Rei remember how powerful these service elevators were, and even in case of a full power shut down they would simply switch over to gas operation, and continue to work. The Commander had chosen efficiency over pleasure, as he often had.

Entering the cargo lift, Rei hit the bottom button and the elevator lurched gently, moving downward. There would be no more security features after this point, Rei had shook her head gently remember the two armed guards that had always been continuously posted outside the office, she had never once questioned this, believing someone of significance was stationed inside and the guards were placed to keep people out, or the patient in. Before Third Impact Rei had never questioned anything the Commander had said, done, or acted upon…everything had a meaning, everything was correct, everything was law. She never questioned, simply obeyed his rules, believing them to be the highest word. But now things had changed, everything had a double meaning; every action was not just simply done but was thoroughly thought out, nothing with the Commander, just like NERV, had only one purpose.

Shinji felt as though he had just eaten a whole chocolate bar, his mouth was full of spit that he couldn't get rid of and his side felt as though someone was stabbing a knife into it. He slowed at a small café leaning against a close wall and spitting onto the ground, he was so unbelievably out of shape for a kid, let alone a pilot. Breathing heavily it was almost as though he was heaving, his lungs felt contracted, begging for more air even though there were so full they could have burst, taking one more deep intake of the putrid air that surrounded him, he wondered if that smell was coming from the food at the small restaurant nearby as he once again began to sprint.

For whatever reason his stomach felt as though it was eating itself, it burned painfully with nervousness as his sprint quickly turned into a jog. He felt as though Rei's disappearance had something to do with why she had been so quiet lately, and if she had indeed returned to NERV, there had to be something wrong, as of late the young girl seemed to hate his father with as much burning rage as Shinji did. The two had been wronged by a man of such power so many times, but even though they had been to Hell and back, they still remained, and the young boy, in his immaturish mind, thought the world was still a game, he though falling in love with Rei, and her with him was sort of his prize, and his heart and mind worked together as he picked up the pace once more, he would not let his love disappear after such a short time, there was no way in Hell he would lose her.

On the more obvious part of his mind he knew it was because he loved her with all that a 14 year old boy could, the lower recesses of his mind, hidden away in the darkness, something that he would never admit to, wanted Rei around…so Shinji would not have to be alone. The young boy sighed, thinking how much Rei had changed him.

She was aware…

The silence of the room was not broken by the continuous sounds of beeping from the nearby machines, the hum of generators, or the clicking of reports being printed out…no these continuous sounds simply were cancelled out by Rei's hearing, the only sound was the sickening soft wiping sounds as Rei-04 moved around her tube, watching the real Rei with an half alive, half dead smile. The assorted instruments that lay scattered all across the mammoth sized room were peculiar, they seemed to be mostly tools that were used to work on the EVAs and a very large collection of needles and drugs that rested glistening from the large, bright, white overhead light that spotlighted the entire room. This place truly looked like Frankenstein's laboratory, it was frightening that these tools would be used on a living creature.   
Rei looked fully around the room. It reminded the young girl of where she would rest after helping create the dummy plugs. The floor was an icy clean cement, which the light happily bounces away from; the two large tubes laid slightly back and glowed with a disturbing orangish-green color that reminded her of LCL. That what it had to be, with no masks over their faces, they were fed, aired, and kept alive by a special type of LCL. There were multiple mainframes that were feeding hundreds of large cables into the two girls, monitoring everything about them. The only tables were a mess, one had a laptop and a dozen other gadgets and tools scattered across with paperwork messily strewn everywhere, and the other had a number of large multicolored tubes, each with a scientific name on them…drugs. The smell of a hospital filled Rei's lungs and everything just had an industrial strengthed 'clean' smell to it. It was just like home, Rei thought, quickly shaking her head and dismissing the obvious reminiscent properties of this place to the place where she used to rest her head.

Walking over Rei first simply stared with uneasy calmness at her mirror-self. The unreal Rei exhaled, and gently floated downward, leaving herself just a head taller than the real Rei, smiling sweetly and watching her with the utmost attention. Rei swallowed hard, tasting the sour vomit in the back of her throat, and continued to stare at her. The metal and glass tube melded together seamlessly the eerie orange glow from the LCL bounced off the true Rei's face, and the gentle green glow of the heart monitor integrated into the lower portion of the metal casing gleamed pleasantly. There was only one part of the casing that seemed out of place: a shiny titanium rectangle that was bolted on just below where the metal met the glass, the words, 'Control Rei' were inscribed onto it. Glancing over Rei noticed the same "sign" on the Ikari-b's glass prison, 'Yui' was written onto it. Looking up Rei noticed that the older woman still stared complacently into the wall, not really noticing any of the events taking place around her…she truly was soulless.

Suddenly the silence was broken. The false Rei began to laugh, such a chime-like giggle that echoed inside the tube and radiated off the walls, the real Rei turned with horror to look at her unreal self and noticed that she was no longer staring at her, but looking just above the elevator. The girl was laughing because of the what the past Rei's had left her, memories, unreal feelings, these hollow thoughts and emotions bounced inside of her mind, and she continued to smile and giggle, for _he_ was coming.

Following the trail of lights Rei had left for Shinji in a nearly breadcrumb-esque manner, Shinji would have enjoyed toying with the thought that he was just like a detective, following his suspect, if his mind had not been completely engulfed in his search for Rei. He was worried about her and wanted nothing more than to hold her and tell her what had been boiling in his mind for quite some time now, that he was falling in love with everything about her.

Finally reaching what appeared to be a mini hospital Shinji noticed that beyond the door, all the hallway lights were off, and the only other light was inside this room. Entering he glanced around and quickly realized that he had hit a dead end, this was nothing more than what it appeared to be: a nurse's station. Sighing heavily, the Third Child wondered if Rei had already come and gone, if he had simply missed her on this way toward NERV, perhaps passing her on the street. Ugh, his mind whined, this was so typical! Why was it, even when he was a God, he still managed to screw everything up! Why was he worthless, why was he such and idiot, a baka, why had he chased off the only person he had ever truly felt comfortable around, that he was not scared of? How could he have chased off his love, and the only other human in the world?

The system was definitely not a GUI based OS, the text-based commands were reminiscent of what Dr. Akagi used to type in directly into the MAGI system. Rei squinted at the red on yellow text of the screen, her nose scrunching up slightly, and tried to remember anything that she had learned from her computer class. Unfortunately her mind was a blank, had her mind simply forgotten? Something that the Commander had warned her when transforming her into a human, or was it because she couldn't get the horrid taste of vomit to leave the back of her throat, or the sound of the other girl's giggling from her mind.

Shaking her head from side to side, the young blue haired albino closed her eyes and held them closed as tight as she could, blocking everything else from her mind. Thinking back to her classroom lessons, the girl remembered one thing, and quickly she typed the command into the humming machine, her back to the two tubes.

_/dir_

A list of commands quickly filled the screen, hundreds of thousands of words and numbers came streaming past, and at then came to a sudden halt, and wait for their next command. Quickly finding what she was looking for, Rei typed in her second command,

_/executables_

A short five hundred stream of numbers appeared before her and Rei read through them quickly, she had to work fast, Shinji was fast approaching and she could not let him see his mother, his mind would not be able to bear it. Rei read fast,

_/light1_…no

_/medicine.morphine2_…no

_/bloodsamp1_…no

_/eject1_…no

_/screen1_…maybe.

Looking down the Rei typed in the command, and looked over at the her former self's tube, the LCL began thickening an a cloud of deep red that emitted upward from the bottom. The false Rei looked around feverishly, delighted by this new occurrence, and kept smiling until she disappeared behind the cloud that was the same color as her eyes.

Smiling inwardly to herself in relief to no longer be forced to look at her false self, Rei still cringed slightly as the echoes of laughter continued to radiate from the walls. Glancing down toward the terminal Rei was about to cloud the other tube when a question came through her mind, and she walked with almost a fearful step toward her 'mother'. Staring up at her, the living, breathing creature barely seemed to be alive, her unblinking nature made her almost appear to be created out of wax but the subtle movement of her chest caused by an inhumanly slow inhale and exhale of oxygen proved that she was truly alive. Rei quickly analyzed the woman's face, trying to quickly answer her question: How close were the two girls similar?

The chin and soft features of the face were instantly obvious, the notable white skin, as well as the red eyes, matched Rei's. Both qualities of which were not that of the original Yui Ikari but caused by the cloning process. The bone structure was different, comparatively speaking, as was the color of her hair and the shape of her nose and mouth. Rei's lips were much thicker as were her eyebrows, the older woman's eyes had more of an oval shape wherein the First child's had more of a circular shape.

This woman was as close to a mother as Rei could imagine and just for a moment, let her childlike tenderness take hold of her psyche and a soft seed of love was planted between the girl and the shell.

Still unblinking, Rei walked over to the terminal, knowing what had to be done. Even though the new feeling of compassion inside of her towards this woman was growing powerful, the clone still had to be destroyed. She was not human, nearly an abomination of life, just like her previous self, and the thought of Shinji seeing his mother in this vegetable-like state was _not_ going to happen. The terminal had a new line of text on it, embroidered in red it flashed, warning the young girl that there had been an error in the screening of the false Rei and that particular system was jammed. Ignoring it, the First Child entered the command to screen the other tube, she could not stand watching her 'mother' being destroyed. The error emerged again yet the tube still filled with the cloudy mist, Yui ignoring it and still starting forward until it engulfed her being. At the last moment she seemed to understand what was about to happen and inhaled deeply, causing the mist to swirl around her pin line lips for a moment, then stop.

Rei was looking toward the terminal, seeking a certain command, and when finding what she was looking for, typed it in.

_/medicine.neuropan1.2_

The computer was surprised at this request and questioned the young girls motives,

_This will cause severe brain damage and perhaps death, are you sure you want to continue?_

_/Yes_

_Enter number of CCs:_

_/600_

There was no need to make the suffer, Rei thought. This would instantly shut down all motor skills and stop the heart, with this amount of medicine, the two would die before their nerve endings felt the prick of the needle.

_/Please insert medicine into containment tubes._

A small containment door opened and waited for the admission of the liquid drug. Rei hurried over, and inserted a large amount of the drug found on the table next to her and closed each door. Upon her return to the terminal it once again asked her to confirm her decision. As she typed in her reply, she heard a loud clunking sound, and a young boy's voice.

"Rei!" Shinji Ikari finally had found an open door with a control panel, bringing the elevator back up to him, the young boy rode it down while Rei had been busying herself with the test tubes and medicine, completely oblivious to the beeping sound of a retracting elevator a sound which had been lost in the other various beeping and humming of machines.

Running over the brunette's heart swelled and his excited voice silenced the giggling of the false Rei.

"Rei Ican'tbelieve I found you! I was looking all over NERV for you and now we can go back home and I saw this nice café where…" Shinji's eyes narrowed at Rei's nearly fearful expression. "Wh-what is it?"

Rei looked over at the tubes, the shadows of the two women could only be barely made out, and Rei hit enter. Instantly the laughter stopped and a soft rubbing noise could be heard…Yui's dead hand was sliding down the glass. That's when it happened…

Shinji had been standing about twenty feet from Rei as she walked over to mentally say goodbye to her 'mother', oblivious to the hundreds of emergency messages that quickly filled the screen. Two miles up, the explosion caused my the twin tubes caused Asuka's Eva's corpse to shudder and below sent glass shards gliding across the room like dagger in all directions. As Shinji brought his hands up to his face, the brilliant light that hit every part of his body blinded him. The shadow which Rei's body casted onto the floor only lasted a moment a she was thrown backwards, her fragile body slammed against the wall and the disgusting crunching sound of shattering bones erupted from her chest. She fell face down onto the floor, her head hitting her and splitting her forehead open, blood leaking out profusely. The fire quickly dissipated because of the emergency sections, but the alarm blocked out Shinji's cries for his love. When his sight returned he looked with a horrified expression at his arm, a two inch piece of glass had embedded itself into it, being red hot because of the explosion the shard had skimmed across his flesh cauterizing it instantly, and the large scar it left trailing up to where it now laid caused Shinji to shudder uncontrollably.

He ignore it, his eyes triple their normal size, and cried out again for his Rei, coughing heavily in the clouds of smoke that had not yet dissipated. He stepped forward, but quickly stopped when another sharp pain erupted from his leg, a larger curved piece of glass jutted out, cutting deeply into his flesh. Almost throwing up by this sight and by the thought of his muscle being cut into Shinji's mind focused on the only thing that mattered: Rei.

She was breathing through blood when Shinji reached her, turning her over he knew instantly that this was bad. Her beautiful face had been hit hard, her forehead was gushing blood and one of the veins in her eye had popped, causing her entire eye to become crimson. Her chest looked like empty can of soda, it was apparent in the deformed shape of her chest that her ribcage was shattered. Her right leg was bent awkwardly, and her left arm was bent back behind her. Her good eye looked up toward the now bawling Shinji, and for a moment…nothing mattered. As the sweeping pain quickly dissipated and was consumed by a cold numbness, Rei simply stared at her boyfriend. Smiling gently, which radiated off her beautiful face, Rei spoke just before she fell limp.

"I…I love you….Shin…ji…Ikariiiiii….." Rei's eyes gently closed, and she fell heavily into the young boys arms.

Shinji at her, then involuntarily whipped his head skyward and with a primal howl…screamed.

**Portland, Maine.**

The gentle sound of water crashing against the soft-sanded beach made the oncoming evening of the cool New England night nearly picturesque. This scenic sleepy town was awoken by a sputtering sound, a old man, in his late 80s came coughing as he stepped onto the sand, collapsing with exhaustion.

Mr. Robert Stevenson was now the third living person in existence.


	9. Look on Your Face

So, I must apologize for the lengthened wait I made you all suffer through. To be blatantly honest, I didn't really know _what_ to do with the story after the explosion. I remember my previous story that was much more Evangelion-esque in which it had a happy ending and a sad ending, but when I watched those I always saw it as bullshit. If the director is going to weave a story, he should pick out at least one 'true' ending. So in this thought I did, I know how it's going to end (for the most part) and I hope you all enjoy.

Kristopher

I Only Left You so I Could See the Look on Your Face,

When I Return

**Present (Main Story)**

"Wonder Girl said whaaaat?" Asuka's vocal point reached a high pitched note that rang with a hint on concern.

Shinji looked up at her sadly, his eyes covered by his hair, the young boy's watch still covered with Rei's blood.

The two sat in one of the remaining sectors of NERV, a lounge that had escaped being shredded by bullets, or sealed shut with LCL. Thanks to the laptop at Shinji's feet, the firey redhead was able to take a large slurp of her icy cool water while waiting for the baka's answer. After what had happened since her return anything cold aside from pop was a blessing she did not take for granted.

"She said she loved me…Aya…Rei told me s-she loved me…" Shinji's soft voice barely audible, a thick layer of sadness which covered his voice stole most of his ability to speak above a whisper.

"What? How could a _doll_ like her every feel anything for any_one_!" Asuka questioned while standing him, her face nearly inches from the top of his head, staring down at him with an almost jealous rage. She knew her comments would not bring Shinji to answer her, but at least it might piss him off enough to bring him out of this slump. Asuka's methods to get what she wanted were always a bit…off.

Shinji ignored her, rose and walked toward the door. He didn't think he could be more depressed than he was when he came into the lounge, but Asuka always surprised him. Asuka watched him go with mild amusement, even if he hadn't cheered up, she had still enjoyed verbally thrashing him, though it did pisser her off slightly that he still didn't respond the way she wanted.

Sitting down with her drink the young girl leaned back and stretched, pushing her chest as far forward as it could go, even though there was no one here to see her perfect bosom, she still did it just by habit. Yawning loudly. she leaned her head back against one of the steel pillars that also acted as a water fountain, and flattened her violet dress down with one hand and rubbed her bandaged eye with the other, which was quite a feat because even though the bandage on her arm had been removed, revealing nothing, it still hurt to move it.

"He's so _stupid_!" Asuka muttered to herself, not really wanting to be alone again. Even though she had returned, there had been nothing but people just getting in her way.

**Side Story Asuka (10 Days Prior to PRESENT)**

The yellow substance make a wet patting sound as it splattered against the cool Earth.

"Uugrk…" Asuka let out, her hand over her mouth and another wet splat uttered out as the vomit pushed her hand away and once again smacked agasint the ground. The disgusting taste of orange juice and tomatoes that vomit always tasted like, filled her throat as she unintentionally licked her lips which caused her churning stomach to do a flip.

The Second Child's vision had become blurry from the tears that had reddened her eyes, snot dripped from her nose and clung to her chin with the last bits of vomit. Another wave of nausea hit the poor girl and her dry heaves echoed out across the open piece of land, sputtering and intense sobbing followed. The place she stood was expansive, because of it's present inhabitants, the ground had been torn up, the grass was now a dead yellow color and there was blood, and now vomit, everywhere. The expilot began clawing at her red hair that matched her cheeks and eyes, the plug suit clung to her skin with a hot wetness that made her even more sick, and the bandages on her arm and eye itched fiercely.

Asuka Langely Sohryu gazed up, her eyes bloodshot and burning as she looked at the object of her pain, and for a moment, was glad that her nose was so stuffy that she could not smell, looking at it, she threw her head back and with the remainder of her energy let out a blood curling scream that echoed for what seemed like minutes.

Eva Unit 02 was a wretched site. The hundreds of disgusting, black hearted vultures were still picking at the remnants of it's meat, just like _they_ had done. Because of the weather, the metal had begun to rust, which added to the nausea-inducing smell. The blood…oh God the blood…Asuka thought, she was nearly up to her ankles in the millions of gallons of blood that had, because of its size, just began to coagulate. The chest cavity, Asuka remembered as she unconsciously gripped her own, had been picked to the bone, which was now whitening in the midmorning sun.   
What had Asuka left behind? In her own Heaven she had a life, a younger Kaji that was in love with her more than she could ever ask for, a mother and father who were alive and she never heard the word Eva. Standing in the burning sun Asuka continued to think about herself, how she was surprised that there had not been Eva battles in her Heaven, and yes, it was true that piloting and more importantly_ winning_ was crucial to her existence…the last few weeks of NERV had been too much. Ever since being mind raped and then subsequently eaten alive, and EVA was the last thing she ever wanted to be with.

Her world had been perfect and nothing like her true reality at all, she was back in Germany, spending most of her time lounging around and making out with Kaji, and though this was bliss…she knew deep down that it was not real. Her nightmares are what kept her from being truly happy. Because she had created her own world…perhaps she had truly desired these nightmares, images of death and carnage, her mother committing suicide. The worst part was that she did not feel anything. She could not feel fear, anger, hate or anything, just bliss…but when she did travel into her dreams, her nightmares, the closest thing to pain that she ever felt was numbness. It was as though her heart had been divided in half, and a wall stood erected through the middle of it, blocking her off from anything except happiness, and when she wasn't happy she was nothing, blank, empty, and numb. After some time her mind simply could not stand it, and any existence would be better than that of her current…thus she fled. Rejecting Third Impact, her 'heaven', her own little crimson crystal world, the tiny jewel in which she was incased, in which everyone on Earth was incased fell into the ocean, and being what felt like reborn she awoke in the ocean. Crawling out of the water like some odd process of evolution…then, as though being called, she ran until it hurt to where she had fought her most famous battle…and lost. Here she was now, among her EVA, wishing she was dead.

**Side Story Asuka (7 Days Prior to PRESENT)**

She was going to be sick again. It had been two days and the young expilot was once again about to pass out. The city had been completely shut down, there was no power anywhere, and that massive loss of power led to mass amounts of spoiled food, Asuka had been surviving on pop and candy for the last three days and this was something her body was not used to. She had been 'crashing' more and more and felt completely drained all of the time. The sugar from her diet was giving her only a limited span of daily 'life' before she would collapse into exhaustion, being forced to sit or sleep, something she hated to do, for though the dreams were not as horrid, they still made themselves known. It was on the evening of the third night that Asuka noticed the long trail of lights leading from one extreme of the broken city to the other after waking up from a nightmare. A dream in which Shinji's EVA had joined the MP EVAs and proceeded to devour her slowly and painfully…

"No!" Asuka hissed to herself, "Shut up!"

She rubbed last bits of exhaustion from her eyes as she commanded herself not to think about the dream. Squinting up it looked as though the lights led from Misato's house to somewhere near the center of Tokyo-3. Misato's apartment, Asuka's old home. The redhead clenched her fist.   
"Why does it have to be her…or _him_!" She screamed at the empty streets, her high pitched voice cracking and echoing off the walls.

"It's not fair! It's not fucking fair! I hate them! Why! Why did this all have to happen, why did I have to be a Eva pilot! I hate it, I hate this world, I hate my dreams, I-I hate this food, I hate EVERYTHING!"

She collapsed onto the cool ground, the tiny pebbles cut her knees causing that pain that she was in to intensify, and finally, the pilot just broke down and wept, crying herself to sleep.

**Side Story Asuka (6 Days Prior to Present)**

The smell swept around her. It was everywhere, on her bed, her clothes, her floor, the stench filled her nostrils, she could nearly taste it. Asuka knew that _she_ had slept here recently, and with the sound of breaking nails, dug her fingers into the nearest thing she could grab and thoroughly trashed the entire room.

"That Goddamn doll! That stupid bitch! How could she! Why would she!"  
The teen was breaking down, and it was getting worse with every passing day, it wasn't that she was mad, it was that she was lonely, and as the absence of man ate away at her mind, she broke down more and more. After tearing up the bed, the walls, the closet, the room, and with fingers bleeding Asuka Langley Soyhru fell onto the hardwood floor, her eyes wide and her flesh white. She tried to tear past her thoughts, all her fears, desires, hatred and loneliness and forced herself to think clearly.

"What do I do now?" She asked no one in particular in a whisper like voice.

Asuka did not move for the rest of the day, and as night fell the usual lights came on and with a unsteady stance, she began toward NERV.

**Main Story (5 Days Prior to Present)**

It was done. Shinji leaned back against the doorframe of the hospital room above _that room_, the smoky smell of Shinji's clothes that had been unchanged for the past five days were giving away to the stench of perspiration and blood. The shards of glass that had imbedded themselves into the poor teen had been ripped out followed by nearly three pints of gushing, pouring, dripping, crimson blood. Gauze now replaced those pieces of hot melted glass, though without medical knowledge, they would soon become infected or at the very least, leave permanent scarring. The quiet whimperings that Rei had let out right before she said those words were still fleeting through the Third Child's mind and left a memory that far outweighed the pain from his leg and arm. Now Shinji was, just like Asuka…numb.

The young boy looked terrible, his eyes sullen, his face thin, his hair was greasy, and blood, his and Rei's, covered the rest of his malnutritioned body. For the first few nights he had stayed in the hospital room with--his eyes began to tear up--what was left of Rei Ayanami. The only time he escaped this room was the night three days prior when his appetite overpowered his sadness and drug him into the NERV kitchen for a little sustenance. Now he just couldn't stand the sight of his love anymore, and had to escape, her broken body, carried up by a crying Shinji, now lay motionless on the hospital bed. The young brunette had no idea what he was going to do no-

"SHINJI!"

Glancing over slowly, with a barely audible moan, his eyes widened somewhat at the sight of a Asuka Langely Soyrhu sprinting full paced toward him. Slamming into his with her arms wide open the toy fell to the floor causing Shinji's skull to bounce upon the hard tiled floor, instantly giving him a splitting headache. Shinji stared up at the ceiling, eyes half open, as Asuka's nails dug into his sides, pulling him as close as possible, and sobbing without an ounce of pride or former anger showing.

What a reunion.

**Main Story (Present)**

"The MAGI says that there are approximately forty-five hundred humans on Earth currently, with a number of them arriving daily." Maya Ibuki said with a aura of pride to her voice. She felt as though working on the MAGI, learning more about it's systems, brought her just a little bit closer to Ritsko.

Shinji found his way into the main command center where the young short haired brunette and two others stood with her. One, a male about 25 stood with blonde hair, sat on one of the desks, profusely complimenting her in an attempt to flirt. And another, an older, grey haired grandfather of three who looked at the screen with tired eyes, wondering if any of his family had returned.

"I set up a parameter around all of Tokyo-3, if anyone else _comes back_, then the MAGI will locate them so we can retrieve them."

"Wow lieutenant Ibuki, you're such a genius!" The younger man exclaimed.

"No one else has returned to Tokyo-3 as of yet?" The old man questioned in a worried tone.

"No, unfortunately. But if they do, an alarm will sound and you'll the first to know Mr. Kalamarti."

Their conversation abruptly stopped when they heard Shinji's footsteps behind them, when they noticed who it was, the two men let out a little sigh of relief. They had only been around Asuka 3 days and already they were sick of her, and, well, to be honest, a bit afraid also.

"Sup Shinji?" The younger man asked.

The Third Pilot did not reply, he simply collapsed on the nearest chair and rested his chin on his crossed arms in front of him, staring blankly at the black computer screen.

"You should really eat something." The older man said hopefully, the expilot reminded him somewhat of his oldest son, back when he was just a teen, and had instantly taking a liking to the quiet boy.

"I'll go get you something to eat." He said, walking out of the room.

When the door shut, and Shinji in an almost trance-like state, the younger man continued his flirting.

"So Maya, te-tell me more about these amazing machines."  
Now usually Maya would have always been up for a chance to talk about her machines, but with the younger man's obvious intentions she simply did not feel like discussing it.

"I-I should go…check on the other sectors of NERV." She said shyly, quickly dashing out of the room, tool bag in tow.

"Maaaaaaaaan…why couldn't I have found a beautiful girl like that back when before all this happened? Third Impact and shit…I thought I was all done with this stuff when I got outta high school. Ugh…I feel sorry for the kids who have classes after all this…with all I used to hear about Second Impact, the discussions about Third are going to be ten times worse…don'tcha thing Shin-man?"

The boy did not reply, he appeared to have fallen asleep.

The blonde looked at him and his heart sunk a bit, it was obvious the kid had been in love with the blue haired chick, but now? He just felt bad for the little guy, maybe the old geezer was right, maybe some food would cheer him up. With that decision, the younger man walked with his hands in his pockets toward the cafeteria.

Shinji had slept deeply, a sleep that was good for the body, but because of the nightmares, terrible for the mind. He had dreamed he was stuck back in NERV, before Third Impact, explosions were happening all around him, alarms buzzed and people were screaming. When he found Rei she was already dead, crushed below _his_ EVA. The dream had been so real, for a time he could have swore the alarms were real.

As he began to wake up after his 14 hour sleep, he unconsciously squinted. The lights were flicking on and off above him, and was irritating the hell out of him, but there was something odd about it, and just as he began to opened his eyes, he smelled a woman's perfume.

"Morning cutie! Sleep well?" Misato stood smiling above him, her necklace dangling over Shinji, eclipsing the light with every pass.

Shinji's eyes instantly grew three times their normal size and a tear shot down his face as he swept up into her arms. The two of them cried, holding each other. For a split second, Shinji was happy…his 'mother' had returned.

The world seemed to be tearing itself apart. Shinji was lying in bed, his old bed, back in the apartment complex on the outskirts of town. It had taken nearly every living person in Tokyo-3, correction, it _had_ taken every living person in Tokyo-3 to get him to leave NERV headquarters. Eventually Maya, whom had surprised everyone nearly a week and a half ago with the knowledge that she had been a premed student for 3 years before changing to information tech, sedated the young boy and Asuka and Misato drove him home. He awoke the next morning drowsy and with another headache, Asuka was screaming again, complaining about her room while the kitchen was being torn apart by Misato, who was desperately looking for a beer. He sighed deeply turning over on his side, the blanket thrown over him and sucking in the fresh air through his nose, noticed that they had changed his clothes. The young boy once again cried, not because he had been drug away from the place where Rei—he violently shook his head, trying to force the image of her bruised and broken face from his mind—but the young boy cried for the actions of everyone, he even remembered Asuka helping bring him home…even if her definition of helping was screaming at him and delegating orders.

Within a half hour Asuka's sing-song voice cut through the air sweetly,

"Ooooooh Shinji…" She cooed.

The redhead only acted this way when she wanted something, and her voice was so sweet it was disgusting. It was as though Shinji just took a big gulp of too sugary kool-aid and the overpowering fake sweetness left a bad taste in his mouth. The young boy didn't respond, and after a few moments Asuka cut the crap and yelled at him,

"You've been asleep for almost a whole day! I'm starving get up and-"

"ASUKA!" Misato's voice called out from the other room, "Get out here and leave Shinji alone! I'll be making dinner."

The door shut behind her a bit too hard and she complained to Misato,

"But Misato, Shinji makes a good breakfast…it's about the only thing that baka can do right and yours is…"  
"Mine's what Asuka!" Mistato's masculine voice snapped back. "If you don't like it then you don't eat!"

There was a silence, then about a half hour later the door opened slowly and the smell of ashes and what seemed like burnt popcorn entered the room.

"Shinji?" Misato's voice too was sweet, but more of that like a worried mother than the sickly sweet voice of Asuka. Shinji remembered this voice, she always used it whenever he wanted to run away, or had locked himself away in his room, vowing never to pilot an EVA again. He almost hated it, because he knew now that she was worried, she acted like this, but when he disobeyed her, her voice would change into that of an overbearing parent.

"I know you're probably not wanting to do anything but sleep." She continued, "But you should still try and eat this, you need to eat Shinji. I'm…know what happened…Maya told me…"  
After Misato's return, their loving and heartbreaking embrace, Shinji came back to himself and pushed away from her, dashing down the hall to once again be alone. It was there that Maya explained everything to her, and for his own safety and health, they both thought it best for him to be away from NERV, for a few days at least. It was there, in the fully equipped nurse's station, the gateway to where Rei fell, that Shinji made his last stand…and lost, being drug back to the apartments, and like a true parent, Misato, stifling her giggles bathed and changed Shinji, and put him to bed.

Shinji lay in bed, his head was dizzy and because of the heat from the room and the stench of 'lunch' his thoughts danced around topics that he couldn't comprehend. It was 'true thought' his mind decided, and he fell swiftly back to sleep, in the train car where the red colors of the outside poured in, and he sat alone.

The dream world was strange. He always hated when he was here, the heat was present and the annoying sounds that all train cars made just added to his headache. As the car jerked back and forth, so did his body, and his neck popped painfully. Leaning his head back against the window he only thought of one thing…her.

Closing his eyes inside a dream had always been perplexing to Shinji. What if he fell asleep inside his dream? Was it possible? Would he enter another realm of sleep? What would happen? But he knew he couldn't fall asleep on the train. For the moment he closed his eyes he her whimpering, whispering out her last words, and Shinji scrambling up into the nurses station and trying to save her and…

NO! He opened his eyes and stared forward, he did not want to relive it. When he lowered his head forward again there were two women in front of him.

The loud one smiled, "So you even run from bad memories huh?"

Shinji didn't respond so the girl continued,

"You're so stupid, this wouldn't have happened if you would have chosen to become one with me! I'm not as weak as _she _is!"

The other woman was quiet, studying Shinji's mild reactions with that of a very interested sports spectator, she thought to herself: I could have protected you if you would have become one with me. Though this sad thought crossed her mine she still spoke out in a reassuring tone,

"Everything's going to be alright Shinji-"

But before the older, purple haired woman could finish her sentence, 7 days of pent up anger, emotion, sadness, hate, and fear was all let loose,

"Stop fucking saying that! You have _no _idea what I'm going through, the one person I had every loved, the one person who ever understood me, who ever trusted and cared for me is…she is…oh God why…God Damn you father! If you wouldn't have drug her back there…oh my God…." He broke down for the millionth time since the accident, each time this happened he felt as though a bit more of his soul simply eroded away.

"Don't be so _stupid_!" Asuka called out again. "Wondergirl's not the only point to all of this!"

Shinji looked up, a questionable look on his face,

"I-I don't understand…"

Asuka threw her arms up in an overexaggerated fashion, "It's not _that_ hard to understand…don't you remember anything?"

Misato cut in, slightly annoyed,

"Don't you remember what happened when you and _Rei_ first came here?"

It seemed as whenever Rei was mentioned, her name, stood out, like a light in the darkness. Shinji looked at Misato's promising face with hope.

"You, Shinji Ikari…are still a God."

His jaw dropped at this comment, millions of thoughts rushed through his head as his eyes became as large as saucers.

Misato was nursing a large buzz. The fourteen cans of beer she used to both silence Asuka's voice and to get the taste of her burnt meal out of her mouth caused her to stumble around until she found the right bedroom (took her three tries) and was now half asleep in her bed. She was quickly ripped from her sleep when she heard Shinji scream.

Leaping up, then stumbling into a nearby lamp, she made it to the young boys bedroom nearly unscathed and saw a very awake and very wide eyed Shinji Ikari sitting upright.

"Shinji!" Misato asked in a voice so full of concern that it squeaked a little.

He turned to her, an almost crazed look on his face as he smiled and looked at her, eyes unblinking and he spoke,

"Kawrou."


	10. A Man's Choice

Rei Ayanami is _not_ dead.

Shinji Ikari, feeling as though his cup of energy had been completely refilled as he darted away from Misato's apartment, making his way toward _that place_. After an extremely brief conversation with a very worried Misato, whom, still wrapped in a blanket of drunkenness had begged him to stay, Shinji darted out of the house, ignoring her pleas. The Third Child knew he had to get back to the beach, where he and Rei had first awoken. He knew this would be the place where he could find Kawrou, and if it were true what the silver haired Angel had said about him being a God, then Shinji would simply change this world to his liking, or at the very least, bring back his blue haired, crimson-eyed love. The boy's head had been cleared, the mist that clouded his mind was gone and for the first time since the accident, Shinji was thinking clearly, quickly, and in a very rare occasion, analytically, and for another first since the incident the young boy smiled,

"This must be how Rei feels all the time."

**Main Story (Day of the Explosion)**

It was all happening to fast! Shinji's mouth was still agape as the sagging body of what seemed like a lifeless Rei Ayanami continued to gush blood from numerous places on her tiny frail body. She was gone; the limpness of her body was proof of that. How could this have all happened, how did this situation come to term, how did his, and her destinies be forced to end like this? Young Ikari had no doubt that he too would die down his this cavernous area made of rock and steel, his inability to run, coupled with the collapse of Gendo's labyrinth would surely seal his fate. But as his face fell down onto Rei's chest, Shinji's forehead felt something…As it touched her weak, crushed chest cavity he felt a small bump, and a tiny sound that silenced everything around him, and echoed through the flames….

**A heartbeat. **

Everything around him seemed to go black, for a moment he felt as though he was floating…floating in this jet-black abyss. Thump…thump. There was a long pause between the twin convulsions of the heart, but they were there, and they sent shockwaves throughout the water.

**She was alive.**

After realizing this, it felt like someone turned a knob quickly, and the world came rushing back to him, the smell of the smoke, the acidy sting from the shards of glass still craning out of his leg, the baritone sound of hot metal bending and collapsing. He was back in this inferno…now he just had to get the fuck out of there.

Shinji stood up quickly, too quickly, his back popped and it felt as though a razor wire cut a diagonal line across his back…he snapped a tendon. Instantly, his left arm went numb and limp, Rei started to fall from his grasp but he hunkered down and caught her on his knee, sending the piece of glass deeper into his muscle. Rising again, the battered child sprinted toward the door, the glass in his moving arms dug themselves in deeper and blood continued to fall.

Nearly falling back into the elevator, Shinji gingerly laid Rei's shattered body in a corner, and hit the UP button. Nothing. He hit it again. It didn't budge.

"MOVE GOD DAMN YOU! PLEASE MOVE! SHE CAN'T DIE, REI CAN'T DIE LIKE THIS!" Shinji screamed as he punched it with all his might, the button gave way, but the cost…two broken fingers.

As the duo reached the main floor the door lurched open angrily, grinding it's bent metal door against the frame. Shinji, with Rei's arm thrown over his shoulder, drug her to the bed and practically dropped her on it. He winced as she suddenly convulsed, and vomited up blood, they instantly fell back onto her face. For a moment he just stood there, unaware of what to do.

STOP THE BLOOD!

His emergency NERV training class about medical safety had been long, and excruciatingly boring but it had explained a few crucial points. The false nurses station came fully equipped and Shinji darted around, quickly trashing the room looking for what he needed.

Gauzing all the four large wounds across her body, Shinji also tightened a long strand of rubber at each of Rei's thighs, and one on her right arm, to slow the blood flow. He tapped on more bandages on the lacerations that covered her body. They were small and more than likely not the kind to leave scars, but they were still seeping what little precious blood Rei had left, and Shinji knew this would not do. That was all Shinji really knew what to do until he saw it, and _it_ made his stomach do a flip. Rei's arms were bent backwards, lying underneath her body…backwards. Shinji knew he had to snap it back, but he also knew the it was make a horrible cracking sound, one that he was not looking forward to. Knowing it had to be done, he grabbed Rei's wrist with his left hand, and her upper arm with his right, closed his eyes and looked away.

_Cruuunnnkach!_

The arm cracked back into place and Rei screamed out, awaking from her unconscious sleep. Instead of screaming like any normal person would be doing in a situation like this, Rei instead just shut her eyes with all her might and moaned softly. Seeing his angel light this, lying is so much pain, thrashing around gently, Shinji looked around the room for any kind of medicine that might ease the pain. As he looked through a number of cabinets, the bloody brunette only found bottles with names he'd never heard of, he was about to give up when he stumbled across the first bottle with a name he recognized.

_Morphine._

It was in pill form too! Lucky! Because Shinji could never have been able to give her a shot. He grabbed four of them and ran over to get a cup of water, cracking the gel tablets open he filled them with just a bit of water, hoping it would speed up the process and poured them gently into her mouth, a bit of it falling onto her chin and cheeks as she sputtered, trying to swallow faster. She instinctively reached out and grasped Shinji's hand for about 15 minutes, until the pills took effect, and she passed out once again…into a sleep she has yet to awake from.

**Main Story (Present)**

Turning sharply around a bend, Shinji knew he still had a least a half hour run ahead of him, that's if he ran the entire way, which he knew was going to be impossible, and this would do nothing more than delay the inevitable. As he moved from through the mountainous cityscape of Tokyo-3, Shinji glanced out to his destination, the beach. Almost smiling, his glee dissipated as he looked out across the now-blue ocean, it's peaks glimmering white, reflecting the sun. They were still there…those large crosses, the ones that the MP Eva's were still crucified to, and their decaying corpses with their luscious lips grinned at the vultures that peaked at their remains. The wind suddenly took an updraft and blanket the city in the stench of their, and EVA UNIT 03's rotting bodies. Glaring at them, Shinji quickened his pace.

**Main Story (Weeks Prior)**

"There, that should do it. You did a very good job Shinji, I'm proud of you." Maya said as she slowly stepped away from Rei's almost unbreathing body.

Shinji craned his neck so he could get a better look, and as his hands gently grasped the metal frame of the hospital bed, he looked, for a moment anyway, like a gazing child, trying to understand what was in front of him. Maya noticed this in Shinji's eyes, the youthful curiosity, trying to figure out what she had done that Shinji hadn't thought of and smiled with pity. He had his love, even though she couldn't see or hear him, Maya's eyes misted as she wished she had her love beside her.

"Thank you." A hollow voice rang out. A dead and empty voice, riddled with defeat, if Maya had to issue a color to the voice it would be brown and black, two weak and powerless colors.

A beep sounded out through the room and standing in the doorway Asuka rolled her eyes and swore under her breath as she made toward the cafeteria.

Rei's heart monitor beeped again, and though there was an eerily long pause between beeps, they were there, giving proof that the young girl was still with them. Rei was blessed enough to get the trickle-down treatment, one bag of matching blood dripped steadily into her arm, helping her regain that which was lost, and another bag full of clear liquid, a mixture of morphine and a sedative to keep her from involuntarily moving around. Twin casts tightly wound around each leg were now in place, and one on her arm. For a moment Maya played with the thought of getting a marker and having Shinji sign her cast but the young girl was in a deep coma, one that she would probably never awake from, and actions of that sort were too light for a situation such as this. Her face, now swollen immensely sported a black eye, a broken nose and a forehead full of stitches Maya had administered while Shinji was out of the room, he couldn't bare to watch. There were burn marks across her "good" arm and lacerations on her chest and stomach, and finally, to finish it all off, 3 broken ribs and a cracked chest plate. All of which had thrown her head first into this deep coma, one that was more likely than not forsaken, but at least with Maya's surprising knowledge of medicine the blue haired angel had at least a fighting chance.

**Main Story (Present)**

This was stupid. Shinji thought to himself as he past a very familiar café with a laptop sitting on one of the chairs. What do I plan on doing? Am I supposed to run up and down the beach screaming for Kawrou, and he's supposed to just appear when I call his name? Then what if I do talk to him, he said this entire world was a creation of my subconscious…was it in my subconscious to kill Rei! NO! How could I have…what is wrong with me!

Shinji tightened his knuckles until they turned white, released them, then clenched them together again…this was his method of relaxation. He wanted to scream, to cry out, to call and beg for help from someone, anyone, and ask them to, in simple terms, explain what the Hell was going on! But he knew there was no one he could talk to, not Misato, not Maya, obviously not Asuka, and especially not those other two men that lived with him at NERV…actually, where had they come from?

**Main Story (Day of Misato's Return)**

As they both held each other, crying, Shinji was, for a moment anyway, happy. This was quickly snatched away by the remembrance that Rei was still dying, and that Misato had betrayed him too many times. The fact was…he still nearly hated her. She had pushed him too far in the end, forcing him to pilot that God-forsaken machine against his will _and_ as it obviously hurt him. Then there was the kiss…for a moment Shinji had felt like a true man, but the taste of Misato's blood in his mouth robbed that sense of maturity and he was wrought him back down, spiraling into the body of a child…who could do nothing but cry. This feeling was amplified when he heard the explosion below him, knowing Misato's fate…then the feeling grew even more when he could not save Asuka. The memories of all these events caused him to push away from Misato, and dart down the hall, tears streaking and an annoyed grunt from a passing Asuka.

Fortunately for Shinji Third Impact had _indeed_ occurred and he would no longer be forced to pilot his Eva, which was, currently, gliding somewhere through space with his mother's soul still inside, trying to remind the universe that humankind had, at one time, actually existed. For that reason Misato was out of a job, and would no longer have to screech at Shinji, bearing down on him to do his job…no, that part of Misato was now gone, and the only part that remained was the Misato that loved Shinji unconditionally…and that's what he needed right now.

Within minutes the purple haired, twenty-something year old found Shinji, at the same place where she saved his life. Under a small stairwell in sector 12-C.

"Hey there." She said in her buttery sweet tone.

Shinji didn't bite.

"I know you're hurting right now…and I can't begin to comprehend what that feels like. Not just because of Rei, but also all of Third Impact."

"You'll never understand." Shinji growled in an adolescent tone.

"You're probably right…but you need to know something Shinji, I-I…I love you…and…God it feels so weird to say that…I never even said that to…" Misato looked down and smiled slightly, playing with a memory, "…Kaji…"

Shinji looked at her, with a little more sympathy. He wasn't the only one hurting and he backtracked to a former pre-Rei Shinji whose main goal in life was to blame himself for everything, Misato instantly took note of this and with a gentle touch, continued her speech.

"Don't blame yourself Shinji…it was SEELE and NERV's fault all this happened…you, me, _everyone_ were just pawns in something much larger."

"Don't try to justify this all to me!" Shinji screamed, wanting to leave. "It was my fault, my decision, I don't want anyone making excuses for my mistak-"

"But they weren't _your_ mistakes Shinji."

"You don't understand…"

"Maybe I never will…but you can't go through the rest of your life hating everything and not doing anything." Misato smiled, and Shinji grimaced, preparing for a joke, "For one," She lowered her voice just above a whisper and looked around to make sure no one was looking, "You'd be too much like Asuka…and one of her is already too many. And two…it's…it's not what Rei would want."

Shinji lifted his head so fast it hit the walled, his eyes tripling in size it seemed as though his life he had shared with Rei quickly darted before his eyes, and he began to remember what she had taught him. Misato sat quietly, letting these words sink in. After a ten minute silence the young woman began to crave a beer, but just as she was about to jump up she startled her with a question.

"Why are you here?" He asked, still staring straight ahead, his knees pressed tightly against his chest.

Misato pondered this for a moment and responded with what really didn't seem like an answer.  
"I…rejected it."

Shinji turned and gave her a questioning look, so she continued.

"When you initiate Third Impact, something you could not avoid, everyone was lifted up into "Heaven"…their own Heavens…something they created by a using a culmination of all their hopes and dreams. It was beautiful…perfect even…but artificial, and because man is _not_ a god…he could not create a true Heaven."

"I-I still don't understand…you said it was perfect…"

Misato smiled, remembering her own Heaven for a moment and continued,

"It _was_ perfect, and that was the problem. Man has always thought that Heaven would eradicate all pain, sadness, anger and so on…and thusly their worlds were created by these rules. Unfortunately mankind is not a God, and as we disposed of our sadness, anger hate and so on we messed up the equation. We had to balance it out."  
Shinji was getting lost, but he quietly listened just the same.

"Let me put it this way…'You can't taste the sweet without the sour' and that means, you can't feel true happiness, unless you've experienced true sadness. The equation had to be balanced, and at times, when we were unhappy, angry, sad or scared we didn't feel those emotions…we just felt…numb. So the kisses I had didn't taste as sweet, the food I ate wasn't as appetizing, and the world I lived simply wasn't that great…as time went on, everything was numb…and so I rejected it and returned to this world where…even though it has pain-" Misato took Shinji's hand into her own, "-It also has great pleasure."

Shinji suddenly felt tired, as though all his energy had suddenly left his body. It had been nearly 2 days since the young boy had really grasped sleep, and unintentionally his head fell and began to rest on the purple haired woman's shoulder. She put her head on top of his as he spoke.

"What did you dream of Misato."

As Shinji fell into a deep sleep, he could feel Misato's face tighten as she smiled,

"I had a wonderfully large house full of beer and laughs. I had a scruffy faced idiot of a husband, and three kids. Their names where Rei, Asuka and Shin-"

And before her story even began, Shinji was asleep.

**Main Story (Present)**

Shinji was close now. Closing in on the beach as his mind raced, how _was_ he going to find Kawrou. Lost in thought Shinji walked quickly right past a young silver haired boy leaning, with a cocky smile, against a light post.

"Looking for someone?" He called out, his voice full of love and upon hearing it, all Shinji's worries dissipated.

Turning swiftly an open mouthed Shinji replied with a squawk of his throat,

"Kawrou!"  
"Hello my Shinji." He called back, and for a moment, a feeling of bliss surround the two, until Shinji remembered why he was there and darted forward coming mere inches away form Kawrou's smiling face, but before he could speak, Kawrou did.

"I've been looking for you…but I noticed you were a bit busy."

"What happened! Did I-" Shinji barked out, worried, sweat from the jog drenched his white shirt.

"Lost in the world of self-hate again Shinji? I thought Rei would have resolved that little issue." Kawrou thought to himself for a moment, toying with the man-lyric 'If I were a God, and didn't believe in myself, would that be blasphemy?'. Then continued,

"Not even God himself could tell what decisions you were going to make or what was going to happen. You were made into a god Shinji…unfortunately, the real God requests that power back."

"Bu-but I don't understand…"

Kawrou scrunched up his nose, the lilan were so dense sometimes. But with a smile to Shinji he went on,

"As I spoke of before, you were given the gift of being a god, but again as I said before, that power has a limited shelf life. You will need to return it."

Shinji's mind was going a mile a minute, all of this was confusing the hell out of him, and he missed the days when it was just him and Rei. But that didn't matter; all that mattered now was bringing Rei back! And with his temperamental fuse lit, he was just about to go off.

"I don't give a damn about any of that! All I want is Rei; I want to bring her back now! I want you to do that now!"

"But why? What would you do with that?"

Shinji was taken aback by this, and could only reply with stutters.

"We-well I-I mean, I don't un-underst-stand…"

Kawrou began walking around, his arms behind his back, taking in this breathtaking view of the ocean.

"You're a god, and if you wanted you could change this entire world around again…but when you lose your power that's it…and if Rei gets hurt again for…for whatever reason, Shinji…there will nothing you could do."

"But-but…" Shinji began, but didn't know really what to say, he was at a complete loss.

"Shinji…" Kawrou started as he sat on the back rest of a bench and laid his elbows on his knees, "You must choose…now, unfortunately…whether you want to keep or change this world. Your powers are coming to an end, and this decision will be fixed and you will not be able to change it."

Shinji's eyes darted back and forth, his hand clenched and unclenched so fast it was if he was working out. What was he to do? Bring back Rei, change the world so it was simply him and her again, go back and stop Third Impact…what?

"I don't know what decision to make! I have no idea!" The young boy screamed to no one in particular, his voice echoing through the empty streets.

He was trying to understand it, but it was just too much! He knew he wanted Rei back more than anything, but also knew that he owed mankind _something_…but they didn't matter, the only thing that mattered now was Rei Ayanami…his love.

"Make your decision?" Kawrou asked while keeping his eyes on the water.

"Y-yes…I want-" He began.

"Shinji, you Lilan only ever see the obvious. When you make a decision as a god, you cannot think so selfishly-"  
"I don't give a damn what you think I should do! God Damnit! I just want Ayanami back!" The brunette began to break down, "I don't….sniff…care…I-I…I just…I just want Rei back."

"You will never forgive yourself." Kawrou said calmly, although a hint of sadness bore through him like a knife.

Shinji finally stopped, his arms dropped to his sides and it felt as though his heart inside of his chest snapped. With an eerily hollow voice, one that simply radiated his thoughts, he spoke.

"I-I…I can't. I'm…" He thought to himself for a moment, "I'm sorry Rei…I've failed you." Glancing back up, he stared down Kawrou for a few moments and finished, "I need…no, I _desire_ to…to…l-leave everything…the way it is now."

It felt as though Shinji was watching television and someone was changing the channel twice every second. He saw images he'd never seen before, some of death, so of life, some of mere colors, all these bounced around inside him until everything went white, his head grew too dizzy to stand, and he passed out.

_God in his heaven, all's right with the world._

As things came back into view, his vision still fogged and his mind still extremely groggy he noticed that someone was standing over him, arm outreached. Because of the sun, he couldn't, at first, tell who it was, after his eyes adjusted, the silver hair gave it away and as a very loving Kawrou helped Shinji to his feet, the young Angel spoke gently.

"You should hurry…she's probably waking up by now."


	11. Chapter 11

This, ladies and (probably mostly) gentleman, will be the final chapter in "A Boy, A Doll, and the End of the World". This final chapter will not only hopefully explain all your questions, but also give away to a more in-depth follow up story entitled "I Live, I Breathe, I Sync, and I Die.". This story, unfortunately, will not be released for a number of weeks. I plan on taking all of your comments and flames and putting them together to create a more 'realistic' story. Those of you who complained about grammar and spelling will be happy to know that a professional literature editor will be proofreading every chapter before it goes out. To those of you who said there were sections seemingly cliché, a new, fresh, and more engrossing story will unfold before your eyes, and I will also be rereading each chapter to delete any annoying cliché 'I love you' scenes. Finally, for the gentleman who commented on _my_ spelling of Kaworu…REJOICE! I was using the spelling from a website and a number of fan-subbed episodes, I double checked the spelling on other websites and I was mistaken, the true spelling is Kaworu, although many people believe that pronunciation and correct spelling is up to interpretation. Nonetheless, this will be corrected. I thank you all,

Kristopher

**God's Will**

Maya Ibuki's heart froze. An alarm echoed throughout the seemingly empty control center that was NERV, as many of the returners glanced up hopefully, believing that this was the alarm the meant more survivors had been found.

It was not.

Seconds later, a very bored looking Asuka glanced up from one of the fashion magazines she had 'purchased' from a local newsstand. It was outdated and tasteless, but really…what else was there to do. Ignoring the alarm, she returned to her reading. Asuka had positioned herself just outside of Rei's room, few doors down not to be entirely obvious. The young redhead glared at her magazine, Asuka didn't know if she had chose to stay by Rei because she hoped the blue haired girl would die, or because a part of her, a very small part, wanted her to wake up. Ignoring both of these reasons, the Second Child had simply justified herself by saying it was the most comfortable couch in all of NERV. Hearing the screams drowning out the very unusual sounding alarm, Asuka saw Maya and Misato screaming commands and questions back and forth at each other as they ran down the hall.

"What the hell does that alarm mean?" Misato yelled, subconsciously looking for her 9mm that used to rest at her hip.

"I…set up an alarm next to…Rei's bed…" Maya was obviously out of shape as she continued to try and lead the way.

"Would you mind telling me what it means!" Asuka flinched as Misato had screamed the question angrily, using a tone that the fiery redhead _hated_.

The two women reached the door and threw it open, for a moment there was a silence, Misato's question had been answer and Asuka felt as though her heart had been flipped inside out. The alarm ceased it's blaring warning the moment the door opened. A too-stunned-to-speak Maya and Misato stood at the door, and that's when Asuka heard it.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….

Rei's heart monitor, it was screaming that the young girl was dead.

Shinji was gasping for air as he reached the third block. Kaworu was keeping up a little too easily, and carrying on a conversation as well.

"So, this is how you will keep it Shinji? Just the way it was supposed to be?"

Shinji glanced over with a questioning look, then grimaced as he felt a shot of pain in his side, for a pilot in love he sure was out of shape. Kaworu smiled as he breathed normally, the Lilan were such weak creatures.

"Third Impact occurred in a way no one ever dreamed of. Seele's plan to evolve man failed, you father's attempts to reunite himself with Yui only came true in a false Heaven, NERVs dreams to destroy all the Angels was impossible because the Lilan were in fact Angels themselves."

Kaworu followed with a inhuman-like nimbleness as the two turned a corner and continued,

"You were made into a God Shinji, and therefore you decided man's fate. Doing this you threw everyone into a Heaven that, if deemed undesirable, they could reject, and return to a place of pain and sadness…Earth. Now as people are coming to this understanding they are beginning to return, and they _will _suffer. Because that's what life has planned out for them…but they will also be happy. I am most pleased that you have chosen to let destiny sort itself out. You have truly become a man Shinji Ikari."

Slowing slightly, Shinji looked in disbelief at Kaworu. After thinking for a moment, he shook his head, knowing that he was not a man, not even close. He knew he would never be anything more than a failure, Asuka, Rei, even Kaworu were proof of that. The silver haired friend responded to this doubting thought with a quick interjection, and a deep sigh.

"_This _is not what Rei wanted you to be!"

The two boys slowed to stop and stood in silence for a moment, simply staring each other down, Shinji was too stunned by Kaworu's outburst to say anything, and Kaworu calmed himself, noting this new feeling of 'anger' and continued.

"You need to understand that at every difficult situation you just cannot always run back to what you used to be and hide. That is a mind of a child. You are a man now Shinji Ikari…and…"

Looking away sadly for a moment choosing his words carefully.

"And it's at this pinnacle point of your life at which I must leave you…"

"What!" Shinji burst out, his eyes tearing up as he grabbed a hold of his best friend, he could not stand lose another loved one.

"It is not by choice I promise you."

"W-will I ever see you again?" Shinji asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"I do not know. Shinji Ikari, this world was yours, and you made it into an amazing place, and for that, I am glad that you and I are close. I love you, Shinji."

To stunned to speak, the young brunette stood with his mouth agape as his only true friend began to leave. Shinji watched Kaworu's eyes twinkle with a twinge of sadness as he turned and started away from the Third Pilot. The Angel walked with a knowing smile on his face and his hands buried deep within his pockets, his blue-steel silver hair danced in the wind as Shinji half expected to see him slowly disappear, but he did not, he simply continued to walk and Shinji watched him, until he was nothing more than a spot in the distance, then…nothing at all

Her heart was still not beating. Maya knew enough about medicine to acknowledge the fact that if it did not start up again soon Rei would suffer brain damage…at the very least. Misato ripped the defibulator off the wall and rubbed the to paddles together with a clear balm. Asuka stood with wide eyes at the door, as her mind fought with itself.

_Good, that little bitch is finally going to be out of my life._

_No…she can't die…not like mother._

In the midst of a war being waged inside her mind, the fiery redhead spun on one of her new high class red heels and tore off down the hall, nearly knocking down the two men who raced toward Rei's room. Her eyes blinded by tears. She did not want her to die…

Back in the emergency room, Maya screamed commands and Rei's tiny body jumped up and down as it was filled with electrical currents.

"Higher!" Maya screamed and Misato turned it up just one more notch, worried that any more would sear her bare chest.

**Thud.** Rei's body once again jumped as she leapt up, then fell helplessly back onto her bed, the smell of burning balm and singed skin filled the air.

"HIGHER MISATO!" Maya screamed, started for a split second at the amount of anger in her voice.

"Any more will kill her!" Misato lashed back with her husky voice.

"What do you think's going to happen to her if you don't?" Asked the younger man, looking nervously around the room, not entirely sure if he should have spoken.

Misato looked questioningly at Maya, who in turn looked at Rei with a worry stricken face, then turning back to the purple haired woman, Maya said weakly, "Do it."

The moment the paddles grazed Rei's white skin, the albino screamed in pain. It felt as if she was having a lazy Sunday afternoon dream and someone had decided to stab her in the chest with two red hot pokers. As she wailed out, everyone leapt back as their hearts jumped into their throats and Rei gasped for air. Her hands shook as her blurry vision came back into view, looking down at her bare chest she didn't even try to cover herself up, but instead only stared at the twin red squares that seemed to have been burned into her chest right above her breasts. Her head felt as though it had been split in half and pounded continuously, her chest burned to the point of bringing tears to her face, both her legs felt as if they have been run over by a truck, her left arm hurt from the thick needle that continuously pumped blood into her veins and her entire body felt weak and sick…she wanted to throw up, but didn't have the strength, or sustenance in her system to do so. She was in more pain that she had ever believed possible…but she was alive.

Shinji tore down the streets with all the energy he had left. After his conversation with Kaworu, the great decision he had to make over his, and the rest of the world's lives, and the loss of his god-like powers, he felt weak, every step felt like it could be his last. He could hear his heart thumping with every be shattering his ear drums and he knew it was calling out for Rei. Trying to sum up his emotions, quickly daydream of what he would be the first thing he said to Rei would be, and what would happen after she left the hospital all felt cliché, nothing original, nothing new, just a rerun of history, a story of another boy and girl, but Shinji smiled when he realized that his story was new, it was fresh, and real, for no one else had the story of a boy, a doll and the end of the world.

She looked beautiful. That was, truly, the only way Shinji could describe it. Now standing at the doorway of her room Shinji smiled at his love. Turning slowly toward him, Rei's eyes danced with passion and the same feeling for him as he had for her, maybe even more so. For the first time since Shinji met Rei she did not look albino. The artificial light and breeze that moved the curtains by her bedside were a bright white, this in turn matched her bed sheets and gown and the only object that was not saturated in white was Rei's gorgeous smooth face, her soft blue hair, and desirable crimson eyes. For a moment neither knew what to do, then, as if she had planned it all along, Rei smiled, just like she did before, and gently reached out for Shinji, her hand shaking weakly.

As Shinji made slowly toward her, his legs feeling like jelly, Misato shushed everyone out of the room and shut the door behind her with a wink. Taking her delicate hand into his, Shinji was surprised how soft it felt, how warm and full of life it was, just like the day they first kissed.

"A-Ayanami…I-" Shinji sputtered, trying to hold back his tears.

"Shinji…" The blue haired beauty replied, not entirely sure herself of what to say.

For a few minutes they just stared at each other, each of their minds buzzing with what to say, and it took Shinji nearly ten minutes to gain the courage to do what he did next. With his stomach nearly sick with nervousness Shinji removed his hand from Rei's and gently brushed the blue strands of hair away from Rei's eyes, letting his hand cascade down her face, taking in the warm perfect skin. Then cupping her cheek in his hand and letting his fingers dive into the thick strands of her hair, Shinji pulled gently, and the beautiful woman practically collapsed into his arms. As their lips touched one another Shinji's first reaction was not that of a fourteen year old boy, but instead of that like a wine taster, deeply enjoying every sensation given to him. Her lips were cool at first touch and the gentleness of her breath through her nostrils gently blanketed his mouth. Turning his head slowly, the two engaged each other's mouths and kissed deeper, Rei's fingers intertwining into his and gripping them tightly, almost as if worried that he may disappear forever. Closing into each other quickly, their kisses quickened and Rei let out of a soft moan of passion, after a few minutes of this bliss, they both pulled away slowly, the cool breeze of room almost painful against the warmth of their kisses, their eyes opened and studied each others eyes for a few moments before saying what they both had been feeling for a very long time.

_I love you._

**Three Months Later**

She's still at it? Shinji questioned himself as he rolled over in his bed, pulling the blanket over his head to block out the morning sunshine, brisk cold air, and the smell of breakfast. Rei had been cooking a lot lately, unfortunately, for Shinji's stomach, it had not really improved.

Rei frowned at the cooking book she had delicately propped up on the edge of the counter. How was it that her food _never_ looked like the one in the picture? She had properly added all the correct ingredients, allotted the correct amount of time in the oven, and even stirred the product twice as many times as the directions had required. Food is an art I shall never understand. Rei poetically quoted to herself, she liked this and decided to write it in her journal later.

A groggy Shinji Ikari stumbled out of the shower and into the kitchen, seating himself almost wearily at the chair farthest from her food. He always did this when she cooked, and Rei would roll her eyes if she wasn't…well, Rei. Placing a plate in front of him, the undercooked and discolored meal stared menacingly at Shinji. Swallowing hard, Shinji began to eat the meal while a very interested Rei glanced up from her own meal every few minutes to check how it was, she was disgusted by the taste, but this was an American meal, and she wondered if Shinji approved of it's odd taste.

He did not.

Continuing to eat it with fake delight, Shinji finished and moved toward the door.

"You must go to NNERV again?" Rei asked from the kitchen like a loving housewife, her whisper-like voice still empty of any concern as per usual. But Shinji could still tell, just by her asking, that she was interested, and…slightly worried.

"Ye-yeah…Misato said she'd be here soon to pick me up." Shinji replied, sighing deeply. Rei moved toward the door to meet her love and looked at him with concern.

"The tests are still…painful?" She asked.

Since the incident, and the return of nearly one thousand different humans to the continent of Japan, Shinji Ikari had been declared, by NNERV (New NERV), a threat to the remaining population of the world. After many weeks of delegation, his life was allowed to be spared under the condition that his mind be mapped to locate any potential possibilities that he could still be a threat. The machine that previously had previously been used to make the Rei dummy plugs, had been outfitted to chart every ounce of his mind. The treatment had been going on three times a week for nearly a whole month and each time making Shinji sick to his stomach and feeling numb and drained for the remainder of the day.

NNERV had been developed as the new form of government. The meetings, which had occurred once the two hundredth human had returned to Tokyo-3, lasted three weeks. Looting, theft, starvation, and fights had broken out not just across Tokyo-3, but many other part of Japan as well. NERV had been chosen because of it's close ties to the Japanese government and it's large, high tech facilities. Ten members had been selected to govern a specific portion of life as well as the returning populous. Food, shelter, technology, health, and six other items deemed essential to the preservation of life had their own department with their own sections of NNERV and each their own leader. No man nor woman governed over them yet, and many hoped they never would. Maya Ibuki had been named chair of technology and was currently using the MAGI as a means to bring power, heat, and life back to the other 75 percent of Japan that was still without electricity. Misato headed up the tenth "Human Necessity" as E-NERV's section continually monitored and worked with Shinji Ikari, or as many religious groups had begun calling him: The Second Child (of God).

This is currently where Shinji was heading, heading downstairs to meet a very impatient Misato who was currently yelling at her boyfriend on the phone.

"Listen to me you scruffy sonofa-Morning Shinji-bitch, if that report isn't on my table by tonight then…then…" Misato glanced sideways toward Shinji as he desperately tried to plug in his seat belt, "No you-know-what!"

There was a pause as Misato slammed on the gas, and Shinji gripped the side handle.

"What do you mean you could go without it longer than I could!"

Shinji rolled his eyes, and stared out the window.

It had been somewhat sad, to think of all that he had lost. Even though he spent most the time with his love Rei, and the rest of the time with Misato or listening quietly to his SDAT, he still couldn't forget what he had lost. Toji and Kensuke had never returned, Shinji often played with the thoughts of what their Heavens were like, Kensuke's was probably a large battlefield where he had become a EVA pilot, and Toji's…well Shinji really couldn't think of anything more than a large table full of food, with his little sister at his side. Asuka would barely even speak to him anymore, hating him for being the only one left 'Anyone really cared about' she had disappeared for a few days, claiming she couldn't take his presence anymore, but returned a few days later, staying around and sleeping at NERV headquarters. Shinji's EVA, and his mother where gone, lost in the deep recesses of space, carrying out his mother's dream of keeping a reminder that humans had once existed. The young boy had lost so much that at sometimes he actually felt guilty for being so happy.

Misato threw her phone in the back seat of her new icy blue car and smiled at Shinji as she cranked up the air conditioning.

"God, that man drives me insane!"

Shinji looked over with his usual nervous face and spoke,

"H-how is Kaji."

"Other than being an _ass_ you mean? He's fine, not nearly as perfect as you, is he…nonono…." Shinji gave her an odd look, thinking, at first, she was talking to him, but then continued his gaze out the window at her saw that she was actually cooing to her new car.

"Mama loves you doesn't she? I can't believe I do half the work at get twice the pay at NNERV!"

There was a silence for a while as Misato crossed town at made it to the car elevator of NNERV, as the purple haired woman parked the vehicle on the machine and waited for it to take the two of them to their destination, the young woman looked at Shinji with a cool smile.

"There was…another returner last night Shinji."

Shinji continued to look out with window and nodded with disinterest.

"I'm not supposed to show you this, but…well...what the hell. It's not like I ever broke the rules before."

She turned to her overloaded briefcase and grumbled as she searched for the document, then threw it on the young boy's lap. Opening the folder slowly, Shinji eyes tripled in size as a photo of a silver haired boy stared back at him, the words 'Classified' stamped all over it in deep red ink. Shinji's one true friend had returned, and as his eyes began to water, and saturate the parchment when he thought to himself that life would never be perfect…but at least it was no longer impossible.


End file.
